Baby's Not Back

Story Sent in by Jude:

In my early 20s, Geoff arrived on the scene and swept me off my feet. I was more attracted to him than anyone I had been attracted to before, and he knew it.

On our third date, we took a walk in a park and wound up off the path. We found a secluded grove with lots of fallen branches and messed around a bit. Then he tried to take my shirt off.

It was a little fast and furious for me, so I balked.

He said, "I want to slam you onto the branches and make your back bleed."

"…come again?"

"Lie down on the branches."


"You'll like it."




"Then find your own damn way back!" he said, exasperated. He disappeared into the woods, definitely in the wrong direction from where the path was. I let him go. Did he ever find his way out? I don't know.

On cold, windy nights, if you hear the sound of tearing back-flesh in your local park... watch out!

Here's a neat article about why young people in Japan have stopped having sex.


  1. Good thing you didn't do the deed on that dirty pile of branches. You would have murdered by Chunky Horse for sure.

  2. Aww, Archie, he sounds like a winner to me. I'm sure he would have given OP some gloves if she'd gotten too cold.

    Also, way to cockblock Chunky Horse from becoming a pegasus, jackhole.

  3. @ Fizziks - I'm going to need to borrow 720.00 euros


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