9/01/2013

The Blue and the Grey

Story Sent in by George:

Mid-way through my dinner date with Alexis, she pointed something out to me: "We're like the Civil War."

Then I noticed it. She was in a blue dress and I was in predominately grey. I smiled and joked, "We'd take first prize at a historical reenactment convention, for sure."

She replied, suddenly in a serious tone, "Why do you like slaves so much?"

Thinking she was joking, I said, "I don't, but a lot of my fellow plantation owners do."

But she was apparently serious. "I mean it. Why do you like slavery? The Civil War is over. You and your beliefs are over. It's the 21st century. Time to move on."

I said, "I don't like slavery at all."

"But you're in grey. That's total code."

"No it isn't."

She said, "Let's try it a different way: why do you like slaves?"

That wasn't different at all. And her voice was loud and there were other people around to hear this. Again, I said, "I don't," then I said, "You're in blue, so you must love being sad all the time."

"I do!" she snapped. "See? You love slaves!"

I realized this late in the game that no matter what I said, she'd probably jump down my throat. I spent the rest of dinner remaining as quiet as possible, although she felt inclined to call me a "slave-lover" and even said, "You probably still own slaves," at one point. It was too bad, as at first, she came across as very sweet. The only thing I could think of was that maybe she was right and wearing grey really was code for something that I didn't know.

10 comments:

  1. Chunky Horse doesn't believe in having slaves... He has minions!

    He was also a fervent abolitionist... He wants to abolish any teens making out in cars, near woods, etc...

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  2. I almost always wear grey and I'm a feeder, so I like owning chunky slaves.

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  3. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=feeder

    ReplyDelete
  4. This site has taught me so many things. The existence of Chunky Horse being the most obvious and important but the "everyone sends messages via complex and needless codes" lesson runs a close second.

    I'm wearing a gray shirt right now. I'm also half black so does that mean the white part of me really wants the South to rise again so I can get my own slave and be one at the same time? Damn it, I knew this biracial shit would become confusing at some point.

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  5. @ Devil - You're half black? Lucky! That's like God's Photoshop!

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  6. Anyone else thinking this chick has a master/slave fantasy and is in denial about it?

    @Devil: Lots of black people owned slaves back then, and some slaves were Irish and not black. Just in case you want to confuse things any more :p

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  7. I need to buy more grey, the laundry's piling up.

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  8. I guess all architects love having slaves then. That's pretty much all we dress in. Grey monotones and black.

    ReplyDelete

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