9/29/2013

Sofa King

Story Sent in by Kim:

Of all places, Gary took me out to… a furniture store. That's right. He said that he wanted to try every couch in the place. Well, it was different, so I gave him that.

We sat on all kinds of couches, sofas, and love seats. They all felt either too squishy or too firm, but that wasn't even the strange part. As we tried one particular couch, he asked me, "Do you store?"

I didn't know what he meant. "As in, do I rent a storage unit?"

"No. Do you store? You know what I mean."

Was it street lingo? I honestly had no idea what he was talking about, and he kept telling me that I really did. Finally he came clean and said, "I'm talking about... well, I have a friend who... I mean she told me she... ah, just forget it."

I couldn't forget it. He had already made way too big a deal about whatever "storing" was. I pressed him and he said, "Your vaj. Do you store stuff in your vaj?"

Oh my God! "No!" I told him, "No one does that!"

"Not true!" he countered, "I have a friend who keeps stuff in there."

"Like what?"

"Stuff! I dunno. Vaj-y stuff."

"Okay: even if I did store… stuff, why on earth would you ask me? On a first date? Do you store stuff in your sack?"

That made him a bit uncomfortable. "No! I couldn't if I tried."

He was clearly nuts, and even though he begged me to stick around and help him finish testing the sofas, I left.

9 comments:

  1. Well, OP is obviously friends with Fizziks or Try...

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  2. Oh man, i wish storing meant something related like going to store and trying on everything".

    But then again this is ABCotD, so why did i expect that...

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  3. What an excellent idea. I've plenty of room in there for storage of all my "Vag-y stuff". In fact you could fit your entire hand in and still have room to flip a coin.

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  4. The only problem with being a storer is sometimes your friend never comes back for that 5 piece bedroom suite, and it just gathers cobwebs and you hafta keep moving it around to get to your own things.

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  5. Haha, I'm going for the easy pun here, but Kim's date was sofa king stupid... get it? So fa king stupid...

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  6. SCG, good pun, but you misspelled sofa king the second time.

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  7. ^Thanks and also fuck you Dave.

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  8. ^Thanks and also fuck you Dave.

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