9/19/2013

Outside the Lines

Story Sent in by Rhonda:

Noah was a pencil and charcoal artist who sent me to his website to look at his creations. They were good, and before we even met, he told me that he wanted to draw me. I was flattered, and thought it would be a unique first date activity.

In person, we met in a park on a sunny day and he set up a small easel and went to work. He drew me as we spoke, and I did my best to keep my head steady so he wouldn't have too much trouble.

He didn't complain, but at the same time, I could tell that he was becoming more and more frustrated. He would grunt and groan while working on the drawing, and he took on a snappish tone.

In the middle of our conversation, he broke his pencil in half, threw the pieces on the ground, ripped the drawing off the easel, crumpled it and tore it into pieces.

"Yeeeaaarrggh!" he screamed, truly frightening, "This sucks! Everything sucks! You suck!" and he stormed away with his easel.

No second date.

17 comments:

  1. "But when I recovered the pieces from the ground and uncrumpled them, I beheld a beautiful drawing of Stephen Colbert wearing only glasses and a grin, on a privy."

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  2. Hey OP, if you had stopped moaning and groaning so much, he probably could have done a better job with your portrait.

    @ JMG - I don't know why he was so upset, I thought it was a pretty good drawing.

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  3. I want Blue Blue's kissginity...

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  4. Damnation, finding a pic of the actual charcoal drawing of Colbert from this episode of Strangers With Candy was not to be.

    Sorry, Jarrrrrrrrrrrred. Still enough of a gesture for a second date, I hope. I'm free last week if you are.

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  5. Steve what the heck are you talking about?

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  6. I want your kissginity, obvi...

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  7. And I want Blue Blue's milkginity.

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  8. how can you take me kissingity when i have already lost it?

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  9. Now Blue, we both know stuffed animals don't count...

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  10. Or your mother BUT I bet you've not been milked by anyone and I want to be the first.

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  11. I like how Blue says "Take me kissingity" on Talk Like a Pirate Day.

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  12. Now Steve, i don't kiss stuffed animals! i kiss human beings. sorry but it already been taken. tryn2fly, i milk u first then you can milk me.

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  13. Blue Blue, you got yourself a deal, please bring a decorative painters bucket. God damn, this is going to be fun.

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  14. Oh snap! Can we make it a 3-some?

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  15. That sounds excellent Steve but I get to milk Blue Blue first, that milkginity is mine. I've even bought a new decorative painters bucket for the occasion. I'm guessing you'll just need a tablespoon Steve? We can all celebrate after with a number 4. Hooray!

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  16. sorry tryn2fly but i dont have any painter buckets you have to provide me with some.

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  17. lol that guy needs anger management and some meds!

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