9/03/2013

Nipped in the Bud

Story Sent in by Ricky:

"Want to see something cool?" Antoinette asked me while out on our date. She opened her purse and showed me — no joke — at least 20 little alcohol nips.

I asked her, "Did you rob a liquor store?" while disappointedly thinking, Great, I'm on a date with an alcoholic.

She laughed and asked me, "Do you want one?"

I politely refused, and then she asked me if I thought I was better than she was. I said that I didn't think that. She then reached into her pocketbook, downed most of a vodka nip, then asked me again if I wanted any.

"Fine," I said, only hoping to move things along.

"Well too bad!" she said, "None for you!"

The date didn't last too much longer. We didn't even make it to dinner, because she said she wasn't feeling well and quit out early.

7 comments:

  1. Funny how Antoinette didn't deny robbing a liquor store. In my experience, anyone who laughs but doesn't answer if you ask them if they committed a crime usually committed the crime.

    And what kind of self respecting alcoholic carries the nip bottles around? You buy your drink of choice in a huge bottle and transfer the contents into a flask. Flasks are damn classy and lady like, especially if there's a whimsical picture of Betty Boop on it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. @ Devil - Not a chance. Any self respecting alcoholic knows you have to brown bag it all the way!

    This date took her pre-gaming seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  3. You want to have your fifth broken down into change in case you run into any panhandlers.

    ReplyDelete
  4. @ Fizziks - Actually, that's a good point. Cut out the middle man!

    ReplyDelete
  5. What's wrong with this dude? A chick that carries around all that alcohol in her purse is pretty much a sure thing. And you don't even have to buy her a drink... she brings her own?! Sign ME up!

    This pandemic of Empty Vagina Syndrome evidenced by this site just astounds me...

    ReplyDelete
  6. As a frequent sufferer of Empty Vagina Syndrome I'm with Steve on this one. OP is yet another pathetic little bitch wasting a dick. It's not just there to pee out of buddy, go and stick it in someone.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Seriously what's wrong with you Ricky?
    He is so judgmental from get go. Oh great she is a woman, must be a bitch. She just showed booze in a good fun I think. I'd drink all 50 of my nips if somebody gets their briefs in bunch for no reason.

    ReplyDelete

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