9/17/2013

Nail and Female

Story Sent in by Cheryl:

One thing that Ben never mentioned in his online messages was the fact that he had grown out the nail on his right pointer finger by 10 inches. It was long, curved, and gross. At first I thought it was a fake, but at a restaurant, he showed it to me up close and it was definitely real.

"You're lucky I'm showing it to you," he said, "I have a friend who wants it bad."

I had to ask for clarification. "Your friend... wants your nail?"

Ben said, "Like for good luck. Long nails are considered good omens in many tribal cultures. My friend really wants it, but he can't have it." Ben then took out his phone and showed me a photo of a guy who I guessed was this friend.

For the rest of dinner, we didn't talk much about his nail and I did my best to ignore it. I had already decided that this was to be a one-date-only scenario, but that was no reason to call it quits right then and there. He was a nice guy and otherwise sane.

After dinner, but before we left the restaurant, he asked me if I wanted to "add some spice" to the evening. I asked him what he had in mind. He said that with my permission, he'd call up his nail-hunting friend. He said, "He hunts me like it's his job, but he can be really funny."

I asked, "Aren't you afraid for your nail?"

Ben replied, "I like the idea of adding danger to the evening," and he winked. Um, okay.

Ben's friend wasn't long in coming. As we remained there in the restaurant, the guy from the photo came in (wearing all pale grey - at first I thought they were long-johns) and pulled up a chair next to Ben.

"Hello, Ben," the friend said.

"Hello, Darius," Ben said, "We're in a neutral zone."

"I know, I know," Darius said.

Darius introduced himself to me and the two guys talked about Star Trek for a while. Ben laughed at almost everything Darius said. After a bit, it seemed as though Ben was talking just to talk, as if to keep Darius distracted and occupied. Ben stood up and Darius stood up with him. Ben said that he was going to the bathroom and Darius said that he'd join him.

Ben then urged Darius to remain seated at the table with me, but Darius refused. Ben reminded Darius, "We're in a neutral zone," and Darius kept saying, "I know, I know."

As Ben made for the bathroom, he made a break for the restaurant door. Darius lurched after him and chased Ben out.

Ben had paid for my meal and I left the tip, so I was okay to leave. I half-expected them to chase each other back in, but they didn't.

As I left and made for my truck, I spotted Darius chasing Ben around the block on the other side of the street. Ben was quick, but Darius was quicker. It would only be a matter of time before his nail belonged to Darius, so I guessed. I left for home and despite the temptation to write to Ben and ask him if Darius ended up with his prize, I've simply never had the stomach to do it.

10 comments:

  1. Corky, that doesn't even make any sense as even a joke response. Unfunny Corky! I should say.

    Anyway, OP, thanks for sticking around to see how this played out. And it is a funny story. Sounds like you had an interesting time.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Are you sure it wasn't a nine inch nail?

    @ Corky Dinkerfield - You can't just throw a "fat bitch" out into the comments like that man. It's all about the build up. See: Holy Moly for a prime example from Gulliver. Learn from your betters.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wha? Didn't we decided no more middle school dates!?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha ha ha. Thank you Archy for a Holy Moly good laugh.

    It really made me want to get a few of my obese girlfriends together and gang finger bang Corky in the ass. Think about that Corky, fingers like fat sausages and they're not healthy girls so you'll probably be shitting lost fingernails for a week but they are classy girls so at least the nails will have a French polish. Meanwhile I'd just stick to communicating with grunts & clicking noises so everyone doesn't know for certain you're a bit slow. Hope that helps.

    Now, this date. I'm calling brokeback fingernail here, but I'm not fussy so I'd still like to see Ben's 10 incher in my trophy cabinet. Or, being shat out by Corkey after he accepts and enjoys his gayness.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This story reeks of dinner-whore.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm just wondering where that nail ended up...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Jeez what a weirdo...Love when the OP says "otherwise sane" yeah...sure;) That guy is a complete retard!

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.