9/09/2013

License to Swill

Story Sent in by Christiane:

Even though he lived about 45 minutes away from me (outside my normal dating area), I responded to Anthony's emails and agreed to go out with him one night. I said I'd meet him halfway but he insisted on driving all the way out to my town, which I thought was nice of him.

At dinner, our talk turned to dating profile photos and then to drivers license photos. He asked to see mine. Oddly enough, I don't think mine is too bad, so I showed it to him and he even said that as license pictures go, it was among the better ones he had seen. When I asked to see his license, he said, "I don't have one."

I assumed he was joking, but he took out his wallet and passed it to me over the table. "See for yourself," he said, "Take a look through it. No license."

I didn't riffle through much of his wallet, but upon a cursory look, there was no ID at all. I asked him, "So if you're pulled over..."

"I'm never pulled over."

"If you want a drink..."

"I've never been carded. Watch." He called the waitress over and asked for five vodkas on the rocks. She asked for his ID. He said to her, "I don't have an ID." She said that she couldn't serve him alcohol and he did his best to convince her that she should serve him. She repeatedly refused, then finally grew short with him and left the table.

"There goes her tip," he said. "I can't believe this. Will you buy me a vodka on the rocks with your ID?"

I laughed. "No."

"Wow," he said, "I'm just surrounded by morons, tonight."

So was I, come to think of it. We split dinner and he drove his license-less butt all the way home. I think I really dodged a bullet, there. I just can't imagine his life going well.

9 comments:

  1. Clearly Anthony was just straight up unlucky being carded for the very first time on this date. Come on OP, that's got to be worth at least a consoling brutal & talentless handy in the car park.

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  2. Definitely should have called the cops after getting his license and notified them. Might make him think about getting one.

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  3. to clarify, after getting his license plate....

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  4. ^Yeah, I like Shoe's idea here. OP's date was a total dickhead and would serve him right for being an irresponsible one on the road too.

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  5. Meh, he had a license. In his car. He didn't give Christiane his real name because then she would have and Googled found out that he was a notorious criminal. Dodged a bullet. Literally.

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  6. Did nobody else think asking to see a license might be a way to get your address? That creeped me out that he asked, OP is pretty lucky he was just a stupid bad date.

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  7. Well, at least she considers him a bullet dodged. And I hadn't thought about the address thing. hmm...

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  8. If this story had ended "Then I shot him in the face with a handgun, killing him instantly" I STILL don't think OP would have been the bad date.

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  9. @ Badgerdaddy - Good point, and the police would have never identified the body!

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