Large Body Parts

Story Sent in by Seamus:

My very first time meeting Christine, we met at a coffee shop. Once we sat down, she said, "So I totally know why you messaged me in the first place," and then pointed to her ample chest.

True, her breasts were large and appealing, but that wasn't the first reason why I had emailed her. Or even the second. I just thought she seemed cool. At least, that's how she came across on her profile.

"They've won prizes," she said, still pointing at them.

"Which prizes?" I asked.

"Oh, state prizes. County fair prizes. That sort of thing. So is this your favorite coffee shop?"

I had picked it out because of its central location. I said, "It's a nice place. Never too crowded."

She broke in, "I have the biggest boobs in here. Did you notice?"


"Sure you didn't."

I really didn't because I didn't look around at everyone else's chests. She went on, "I might have the biggest ones on the block, even. You think so?"


"Want to go outside and check? For any larger ones?"


We carried our drinks outside and looked up and down and all over the block. We passed a fair number of people, none of whom, at first glance anyway, seemed to have the mighty rack that Christine possessed. Christine went on about her future daughters: "They'll all have their momma's boobs. I can't wait to see 'em!"

She was fun, and I thought I'd try to kiss her after our little adventure. But when I leaned in at an opportune moment, she literally bounced my chest with hers and said, "Whoops! Looks like you bounced right off. Guess we're not meant to be together." I took that to mean that she wasn't interested, and after a bit more small talk, we called it a night.

I wrote her a polite email afterward, to which she replied, "THE CHEST IS THE UPPER BODY'S BUTT AND YOU ARE ITS POOP."

I didn't say anything back to that, which was likely just what she wanted.


  1. Ahh yes, the county fair breast judging contest! I knew I missed my calling in life by becoming an architect. But I must say, Christine does look like a blue ribbon winner to me!

  2. I was team OP until her last message. The boobs are the chest's butt! YOU CAN'T ARGUE WITH THAT LOGIC!

  3. Christine (cough*Hendricks*cough) there is giving me the vibe of the former chubby/fugly kid that suddenly ends up hot. It feels so weird to have been one person and then suddenly another. It's altered the fabric of your internal universe and you can't imagine it not being as important to everyone else.

  4. @ Fizzkis - Aaaaahahahahaha!

  5. Neville got fine! And OP, I gots nothing. I've got huge tits and I'm always trying to hide them. I'm a weirdo...

  6. @Tanette13 - I've dated women, some large of chest, others not so much. It seems to me that women with big bewbs (yes, I said bewbs, and there, I've said it again) complain about them and wish they were smaller, and the gals who have them smaller complain and wish they were bigger. It all just plays into my theory that no woman is happy, ever.

  7. You prolly right about the unhappiness factor. I like my bewbs just fine. I even wrote a song about them. I'm just a little shy about them is all. I dunno how to explain. I feel like I'm bragging if I let the girls out. Although I do let them out in Vegas...anyway...


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