8/27/2013

Vanilla. Chocolate. Baby.

Story Sent in by Stephanie:

Being a single mom brings its own set of challenges to dating, but sometimes you really luck out and find someone who's really into you and your kid. I have a daughter named Chloe who is awesome. She cries rarely and laughs like something funny is always going on, which in my case there typically is.

I'm upfront about Chloe in my profile, and Robert contacted me with apparent interest in both of us. "What fun stuff do the two of you do together?" and questions like that. He sounded like fun, so I asked him if he wanted to meet up. He told me that not only would he love that, but that he'd also love to meet Chloe. I usually left Chloe with a sitter but he seemed so cool with her that I had no problem bringing her along.

We met at a sidewalk cafe and sat Chloe in between us. He was great with her at first, making her laugh and smile. He seemed like a great, funny guy.

Then he leaned in close to Chloe and licked her, full in the face. Then again. "Mmm!" he said.

"Stop!" I said, pulling Chloe away, "What're you doing?"

He leaned back with a grin and waved my concerns away. "Ah, she loves tongue. She's a regular ice cream cone!"

Chloe looked a bit upset and I wiped her face. Robert asked, "She loved it, okay? Can I give her some more?"

"No!" I shouted, and kept her close to me for the rest of the short, short meal. I called the server over, had my food wrapped up, put down enough money to cover myself and Chloe, and told Robert that I had to go.

"No need for theatrics," he quipped.

No more dates with that wacko.

27 comments:

  1. Wow. That's crazy. And I guess you'll never be taking your daughter on a first date ever again. dang.

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  2. What were you thinking, yeah you should REALLY re-think who you should be bringing you daughter around. Great job,

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  3. Why would anyone trust internet strangers when they say they're cool with their date bringing their kid(s) to a first date? Desperation silences the little pedo alarms that would normally go off in your head. Nobody is THAT cool about kids on a first date. Except pedos. What a creep.

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  4. Just one of the many reasons you don't introduce your boyfriends to your kids on the fifth date, let alone the FIRST DATE.

    You're like pedophile central there.

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  5. What the hell were you thinking?! This isn't funny at all.

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  6. Yeah, I won't even try to be snarky about this one - I'm kinda creeped out...

    First of all, please rethink taking your daughter on first dates. She is a child, and should not be involved in your dating mishaps.

    Secondly, I would consider calling the cops on someone that did that, as my pedo alarms would have gone off immediately. For all you know, he could be a convicted sex offender. Maybe he's even out on parole, and just broke the terms of it by licking a child on the face...

    This isn't funny at all... :-(

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  7. Stephanie, WHAT THE HELL were you thinking?!?

    Single moms (and I AM one) shouldn't introduce their children to casual dating situations. Until the man is your boyfriend, you need to keep your kid out of it.

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  8. You know, as a parent, your top priority is to protect your child from weirdos. You literally handed her, on a silver platter, to some dude you'd "met" on the internet. I'm sure her trust in you is ruined, as it should be. I hope she has other adults in her life with more common sense than you have.

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  9. Anyone want to join my summoning circle so that we can implore Chunky Horse to mule-kick some sense into these fools?

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  10. You know Stephanie, it's perhaps a sign of how badly you screwed up that people are actually not joking in the comments but actually trying to reason with you. No matter how desperate you are for a date, exposing your daughter to potential pedophiles is totally NOT COOL.

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  11. I just met you
    And this is crazy
    But here's my daughter
    So lick her maybe!

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  12. You know what's worse than being humped on a bed of trash, while the twin watches, twice?

    Having a pedophile lick your precious innocent daughter's face. Twice.

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  13. Love to see the rebuttal on this one.

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  14. As everyone here seems to love making assumptions I'm going to make some of my own. Mother 40/45yo, daughter 18/19yo and that, changes, everything.

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  15. I can only imagine how rough it must be to watch your toddler lose her lickginity before your very eyes...

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  16. TryN, if she was talking about a teenager, I serioously doubt she'd bring up how rarely she cries, or mention leaving her with a sitter. And Chloe would have been old enough to say something, instead of having to look at her expression to tell whether she liked it or not.

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  17. You STAYED for the rest of dinner?! No matter how short it was, I would have grabbed my child and left that bastard the full bill in half a second! "She's a regular ice cream cone."? That would have had me giving the police all the info I had on the guy.

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  18. This story is beyond creepy and actually pisses me off. I don't have any kids but even I know that pedophiles have been known to troll dating websites to meet women with kids. How does a parent not know this? It's not like all pedophiles all drive around in vans offering kids candy and naps. Even if you don't know this tidbit, it is still highly inappropriate to bring your kid on a first date with a virtual stranger.

    The fact that the OP stuck around after this creep licked her daughter's face astounds me. She basically just showed her daughter that if someone does something inappropriate, you should still be polite instead of getting the fuck away from that person.

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  19. "So there I was on a date with this girl and her MOM.. can you believe that!! She actually brought her MOM to the date.. and when I did my trick on her, her Mom got all upset.. screw her.. I thought MILFs were supposed to be cool with stuff like that.. "

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  20. Oh, my mistake Ellendra I thought she said "leave her in the shitter", as teenager spend ages in the bathroom. Lucky your here to clear things up, thank you.

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  21. As a single mom, this infuriates me. Heads up: if a guy you meet online wants to meet your child on the first date, he's more interested in her than he is in you. Even if you meet a single dad, meet him for a couple of dates before you get the kids involved!

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  22. Everyone assumes this guy is a pedo when he is probably only a cannibal.

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  23. I'm just glad this didn't end tragically.

    Sometimes I see small children walking / running through stores with their dumbass parents not tracking them so I hover until they reunite.

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  24. I'm so disgusted omg...Creepy pedophile! I feel sick:S

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  25. I would have spoken to the police about the incident. That was just disturbing.

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