8/12/2013

Throw Me a Phone, Here

Story Sent in by Danial:

I found Linda on a dating site and we sent so many emails to each other that I asked her for her number, thinking that it would be easier to talk that way. She said that she never gave out her number online. I could understand that, so we set up a date and met in person.

She was really shy and quiet. When I finally asked her for her number, she said, "I'll write it down for you." She handed me a piece of paper with the number seven on it. Nothing else.

I asked, "Do I need another six digits?"

She said, "You get another digit next date."

Ugh. So seven dates until I had her full number? Not to mention an area code, which may have been local, but what if it was a non-local cell number? That would be 10 dates total, and by that point, without her number, I very likely would've lost interest in this timid young woman.

I decided to give her another chance. After all, she had been pretty responsive to my emails in the past. But over the forthcoming days, she became a bit less responsive. Less than a week later, we were out on another date. As promised, she gave me a second number, a three. I asked her, "Does the three come before or after the seven?"

She replied, "You work it out."

I said, "So if you give me every digit, you're not going to tell me what the right order is?"

She said, "That's right. You'll just have to try every combination."

That plus how reserved she was led me to believe that that would be our last date. However, she wrote me an email not long after asking me if I wanted to go to a museum with her that weekend. I wrote back that I'd possibly be interested, and she wrote back, "Give me a call and we'll work it out."

I wrote back, "But I don't know if your number is three-seven or seven-three."

No response to that, ever.

21 comments:

  1. I... Well, I actually love this story.

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  2. We've grown so antisocial as a society, that giving someone your phone number is seen as a large commitment step.

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  3. What a friggin idiot. Digits or gtfo.

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  4. Op, why didn't you just say if you not going to give me full digits I'm out. No guy wants to go out with a girl who is timid. you should have scared her or have a smarter way of getting her number.

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  5. Steve doesn't ask for digits. They get showered upon him like confetti from the ticker-tape parade in Times Square at the end of WW2...

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  6. Pray tell, Blue Blue, what smarter or scarier way would you have used to get this idiot's phone number? Yell at her whilst throwing bananas at her? Get your daughterson Green Green to do recon? Illuminate us!

    This girl didn't have a problem with commitment or anything. She was trying to be mysterious and hard to get and, like most fools, played the game all wrong.

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  7. Blue Blue doesn't need any other phone numbers. She has mine, and that's it.

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  8. Devil, I would have said okay this is date one? well get ready for date two! cause it happening now and so forth and so on!

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  9. ^ That Blue Blue is a schemer... I like that...

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  10. Steve, she did say he would get a number on another date.

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  11. Damn Blue Blue, that plan really is both scary and smart. There's so no way she wouldn't have given you those digits and so forth and so on. You're an evil manwoman genius! Steve is one lucky man.

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  12. Wow Blue Blue, now you've outed yourself as the true evil genius that you really are!

    @ OP - Hahahahaha! Loved the last email response truly Hedbergian!

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  13. My phone number is as follows:

    NUMBER 3!! NUMBER 3!!

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  14. Wow, just when you think you know BlueBlue, you do.
    I'm not sure why this date is even on here. We all know the correct order is: 30 emails, 50 dates, marriage, sex, babies, THEN AND ONLY THEN do you get a phone number. I mean what if they turn out to be a creep.
    The only exception is of course Confetti Steve & Genius BlueBlue, the Brangelia of ABCotD.

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  15. Oh, oh, now I have Steve's number! I just have to figure out if the 3 comes first or if the 3 comes first.

    Although I did say that Linda was playing hard to get, I too follow TryN2Fly's proper sequence of courting. I tweaked mine slightly however. First sex, then a date, then I ask for the guy's name, then I get knocked up, then we exchange email addies. I only get the digits to collect child support.

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  16. No Architect, only megamind is the true evil genius!

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  17. I phoned Steve on that number, you know to cock block BlueBlue, and all I heard was grunting & splashing noises????

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  18. try stop trying cock block steve.

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  19. @ TryN2Fly - Was there also a sneeze and then the sound of lots of little cocaine bags plopping into a decorated paint can? Because if so, I think I know who you called.

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  20. Aww Steve got himself a little girl friend. That's you blue blue.

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  21. So... MINIMUM ten meals (one for each digit), plus additional meals in order to get hints about the order of the digits? I'm legit impressed - that is one dinner wh--e who certainly knows how to maximize her profit margin!

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