8/14/2013

Filthy Clean

Story Sent in by Louis:

I was taken aback when Pearl asked me over to her place on our second date. Seemed a little soon, but I was gung-ho for it. She was cute and seemed into me. When she served me a homemade Long Island iced tea, I had a feeling she meant for things to go in the direction I wanted them to go.

We watched some TV and she snuggled up next to me then she traced a hand down my shirt and then she looked at that hand back and front.

"My hand is filthy," she said, then looked at her other hand in the same way. "Both my hands are filthy."

She went to the bathroom, presumably to wash off her filthy, filthy hands. She didn't come out for a very long time, and I knocked on the door, which wasn't even closed. I found her asleep in the tub, complete with blankets and pillows.

I shut off the TV and left.

10 comments:

  1. The OP is clearly dense and not a REAL man. A real man would have known that Pearl was being coyly seductive and speaking in what we women delightfully call "sex code". Us real ladies can't just come out and say we want dick. We must play games.

    Pearl said BOTH her hands were filthy. Translation: I'm a dirty girl who likes double penetration and/or vaginal and anal lovin'. The blankets and pillows in the tub? Pearl clearly set them up for a bath tub bang session. When the OP pussed out, poor Pearl fell asleep.

    All of this was clear to me and I'm not real man. Well, not since the operation. You missed out on one hell of a romp, OP.

    ReplyDelete
  2. She clearly wanted to smush in the tub. It probably wouldn't have been very good, though, what with the lack of trash, ever-watchful twin, and possibly doing it twice...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Something told me when I started reading this story that the girl was going to fall asleep in the bathroom. Seems to be a rash of these stories lately. Maybe she got into some pills in the medicine cabinet or something. But it had to be premeditated based on the pillow and blanket. Or she was Kyle XY.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Devil nailed this one, blue blue style.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not sure why OP was so certain this was going anyplace....

    ReplyDelete
  6. Fizziks what a lovely portrait of you, love your outfit.
    Now lets deal with this date. Devil you were close but sorry no banana. What Pearl is specifically referring to and wanting to perform on Louis is called Washing Your Hands. This is where you place your well lubed hands palm to palm with fingers together and then push both hands into someone's ass. When you are in to about your 2nd or 3rd knuckle you slide your palms back and forth like you are washing your hands in a sink but it's an ass. To really impress finish up by clapping your hands until your date passes out from pleasure.
    Not a first date move but certainly a classy second date. That pathetic little bitch Louis needs to get a clue.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Define "homemade Long Island iced tea." Please.

    Is it homemade because it was mixed at home, like, so I can say I'm enjoying a lovely homemmade Scotch on the rocks as I type this? Or did she, like, custom mix the sodas with a soda stream and distill the liquors in a secret closet?

    I must know.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I bow to your knowledge of sexual kinks, Try. It's already been established that I'm boring in the sack because I don't understand such complex fantasies as getting off on seeing people mauled by wild animals so I try to work with my limited knowledge. Admittedly, I need to visit more non vanilla porn sites and bone up. I will bone up hard.

    Dawn, I too didn't get the "homemade Long Island Iced Tea" but I was too caught up in double penetration to comment about it. My guess is Pearl made the liquor in her bathtub.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love how this naive little man was "Taken Aback" like it was 1895 and the young lady was showing him a little ankle.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.