8/01/2013

Divorce Before the Wedding

Story Sent in by Kent:

On my date with Kelly, we went to sit down in a park and she told me that the last two guys she had been on dates with had asked her to marry them on the first date. She asked me if I was planning to pop the question, and I told her I wasn't. I thought she'd be relieved.

She took great offense to that and asked me, "What's wrong with me? You don't think I'm marry-able?"

I told her that there wasn't so much wrong with her as there was with two guys who'd ask her hand in marriage after barely knowing her. She said then, "What if I told you it wasn't two guys but three?"

I told her I'd have a hard time believing that, but she said that it was true. She said she hadn't told me at first that it was three guys because it sounded too unbelievable.

"So I have my pick of lots of guys," she said.

I wished her luck and she then asked me to propose to her. She said that it didn't have to be serious. She just wanted to tell her girlfriends that another guy had asked her to marry him. I flatly refused and then she fell to insulting me, telling me that no one would ever want to marry me, that I was ugly, that I was stupid for not asking her to marry me, and so on.

Tired of her antics, I told her to shut up, that she was crazy, and I didn't want to see her anymore. She asked me again, one final time, if I still refused to propose. I did refuse, and she said, "Then our business is done. Have a good life." And that was that.

16 comments:

  1. I go on all my dates now with at least 25 condoms filled with heroin up my butt and a decorative painters bucket just in case an airport wine bar is offered.
    The fall back option is the marriage proposal, so of course I always wear a full white bride gown.
    There was this one time it all got really messy when there was a sudden violent "exit" when I sneezed while introducing myself.

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  2. So what you're saying, TryN2Fly, is that there is a shit/heroin stained wedding dress in your closet? Please post on it on eBay as I'm still looking for a wedding dress. I can bid upwards of 75 previously used butt condoms in exchange.

    Oh, and this date story. Another Case of a Woman Thinking a Guy Will Fall in Love After Hearing That Loads of Pretend Guys Want Her. Guys so dig that!

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  3. Don't worry OP, in her next date you were the 4th one to propose to her. Truth doesn't matter in dating.

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  4. Sounds like this chick has a collection going. It's only a matter of time before it becomes victims instead of proposals.

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  5. @Architect - I think it's the reverse scenario. She keeps trolling for some sadistic fuck to abduct her, but all she keeps meeting is Nice Guys, oh no :(

    @TryN2Fly - I think I was there for that. It was pretty hot at first but got a tad out of hand

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  6. Oh Devil & Fizziks, bestest girlfriends a Griffin could have EVAH!!!11!1

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  7. It seems to me that it's her bizarre form of trophy hunting. There are better, more believable ways to inflate an ego. If her friends really believe her, I would suggest that she get some smarter friends. At least they would tell her to knock off the crap.

    Also nobody, male or female, is going to be turned on by how many people are attracted to you. In fact, it's a turn off for me; no guy is worth fighting a bunch of idiots for the privilege.

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  8. Hello everyone did anyone miss me? Anyway I think Kelly made up those stories about guys wanting to marry her on the first date, otherwise why would she ask op, to ask her and yet stayed trying to convince op to ask her. I think her friends don't believe her they just put up with her make believe stories.

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  9. He should have said that the last three girls he dated asked him if they could blow him....and would she like to as well....just so he could tell his friends that another girl had asked him...

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  10. Hey momdad! I missed you! Glad to see you're up and around after our bike accident. Crashing into the massive wall of Fizziks' enormous ass really took you down.

    I've been proposed to by hundreds men and women! They all want my hot androgynous bod! And by "proposed", I mean propositioned.

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  11. @ Reading - I highly doubt she's telling her friends anything because there's nothing to tell. The odds of going out with three different nutty dudes who propose on first dates is pretty low unless she dates men from the local sanitarium/prison or men trying to get a green card. This is one of those mind games that are in those "Get Him to Marry You Tomorrow!" books. Make a guy think you're busy dating and having fun so he'll be more interested and want you bad. Some women take it too far.

    @BlueBlue - Yeah dude/chicka, we totally missed you. We all figured you were on a banana picking trip. TryN2Fly went looking for you in the jungle but came back with tons of blow instead. Welcome back.

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  12. Well, that sounds super annoying.

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  13. Howie, you know what I would do with that thing you are proposing that OP does. ;)

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  14. So like are we back on the crazy train?

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  15. So like are we back on the crazy train?

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