A Bear of a Tale

Story Sent in by Sandra:

Ryan's online profile name was something like "BigBear510" or something similar. In person though, he was 5'3" and wore a long-sleeved shirt with a picture of a bear on it.

"That's me!" he explained as we stood in front of a restaurant, "I'm the big bear!" and he gave me a bear hug, quite unexpectedly.

"More like a little bear," I joked once he let me go.

He gave me a rude gesture and said, "Let's go for a ride."

I said, "I'd rather have dinner, first. Aren't you hungry?"

He nodded, thumped his chest, and said, "I'm the big bear!" and barreled into the restaurant ahead of me.

He flipped through the menu really fast and put it down. He asked the waitress, "Do you have any bear?"

When she said that the restaurant, unsurprisingly, didn't have bear on the menu, he said he'd have a hamburger, but...

"If you find any bear meat out back, lemme know!"

When she left he said to me, "You are what you eat!"

Right after dinner, he tried to kiss me right there on the sidewalk, but I didn't let him. He said, "You don't wanna give 'ol big bear a kiss?"

I said, "Not this time."

He gave me the same rude gesture and said, "Let's go for a ride."

"No thanks."

"Well, good night then."

"Good night."

And goodbye, "big bear."


  1. Well played, Sandra for this tree has seen your future....

  2. His secret fantasy was to throw you in a cave and then maul you. "Let's go for a ride.....to my cave."

  3. Why would you want to date a guy that's 5'10"? That's short...

    6 foot or GTFO.

  4. @ Fizziks - That's one of the funniest and most disturbing things I've ever seen. Mainly because someone took the time and effort to make that.

  5. @ Architect -- yes, "someone"......


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