7/21/2013

Why Internal Monologues Should Stay Internal

Story Sent in by Lora:

I wore a necklace I made myself to my first date with Jeremy. He complimented me on it during our before-dinner walk.

At dinner though, all it took was half a drink for him to say, "That necklace is the ugliest thing I've seen in my life. Where'd you get it?"

I reminded him that I had made it, and that just over an hour before, he had complimented me on it.

He said, "Back then, I wanted to get some."

"And now you don't, anymore?"

"No! I still do."

"Oh. Weird. You're not getting any."

He sulked for the rest of dinner, he asked for separate checks, and that was the end of that glorious evening.

18 comments:

  1. I prefer vaginal monologues.

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  2. I hear Steve & Howie are getting Devil a huge pearl necklace as a wedding present and giving it to her at the altar as she says her vows. Best Wedding Evah!!!11!1!

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  3. I would love to get a pearl necklace from Steve and Howie. I hope it is a double strand!! Double strand pearl necklaces means that extra love was put into making it! I'll be sure to stand extra still so both of them can put it on me.

    Art will be so happy to hear about the special gift my good friends at ABCoD are planning for me. Underneath all the bitter and jealous comments, it is clear you all really adore me!

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  4. You can be jealous and still adore somebody, Devil. Pearl necklaces. I'm real sure Art is okay with that. And Steve, wouldn't you prefer it if the vaginas you encountered didn't talk at all? Anywho, OP, um, what an idiot your date was. For real. A dumb ass moron. Okay, perhaps I'm a bit grumpy today....

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  5. I'm so jealous of Devil right now I'm green! She gets all the good stuff! I want a pearl necklace too! Blue Blue, get your child a pearl necklace!

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  6. Green, Green...I'll give you a "Strawberry Sundae" instead! You'll love it.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=strawberry+sundae

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  7. Green Green, Get someone on here to get you one. I told you Green Green, you aren't my child.

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  8. I dunno Blue, Blue...if you hooked up with somebody named Yellow, yellow...then it's possible Green, Green may be your child.
    We may have to have a "Pantone-ty" test done to know for sure.

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  9. Denied by my own momdad! Oh, the humanity! So you don't even believe this paternity test we got on the Maury Povich Show?

    Howie, I really do want one of those! I think the pain of the punch to the face will help ease the pain in my heart of being shunned by my momdad, Blue Blue.

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  10. Omg I am going to be clear here, I still have my v card, I haven't slept with anyone. So therefore Green Green can not be my child.

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  11. Blue x2, let me speak true:

    We all know ain't no sex had by you.

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  12. fizziks, i don't understand you.

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  13. I think you are scaring my momdad, Fizziks. S/he does not understand. When you mix Blue Blue with Yellow Yellow, you get Green Green. That's not so hard momdad. No one said anything about SEX! That's just dirty. This is a primary color thing.

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  14. ^^ I lol'd so hard. Love the inclusion of external references lately ^_^

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  15. @ Fizziks - Best. Link. EVAH!!!!11!!1!!

    So, now we all know Blue Blue is a virgin....One more piece of info to add to the disturbing pile.

    @ OP - Did your necklace look like this?

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  16. Therefore I can not be Green Green father/mother

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  17. Okay fine, I didn't mix colors with anyone! I stay true blue blue, I don't mix with the color yellow!

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  18. Ha ha ha. Blue Blue is an 8 year old girl, 8 1/2 max. That certainly explains a few things.

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