7/01/2013

Pain Showers

Story Sent in by Mavis:

The day before our date, Connor wrote to tell me that it was going to rain the next day, and that I should be sure to dress accordingly. I checked the weather report and saw that there was a 10% chance of isolated showers.

Sure enough, the evening of our date was cloudless. When he saw me, he asked, "Where's your raincoat? I clearly told you it was going to rain."

I said, "It's clearly not going to rain. The Weather Channel said so and in any case, look up."

He looked shocked and said, "So you're going to trust some corporate TV channel over me? You must be the biggest idiot I've ever met."

The chances of any further time spent with this guy dropped to a chilly zero percent. I thanked him (for what, I don't even know) and wished him a good night.

10 comments:


  1. The OP clearly is the idiot here. Everyone with an
    iota of intelligence knows that The Weather Channel
    is a corporate shill that purposely gives people
    incorrect weather predictions for shits and giggles.
    I've been consulting Connor for weather reports for
    years which is why I always wear a raincoat, snow
    boots and a bikini top over my lady business suits.
    He has yet to steer me wrong and I'm not stupid a
    lady. I'm a lady lawyer with a degree.

    Thank you (for what I don't know),
    DevilYouKnow-Manigault-Vandelay

    ReplyDelete
  2. Rain is NOT a vegetable.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Now I know why my dad, Art Vandelay, before he got divorced and hooked up with this slutty idiot lawyer, was always telling me to make sure I wear a raincoat! Because it might rain!

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was holding hands and pooping with Connor the other day as we were fine tuning my raincoat wardrobe for the coming week and he had the most delightful news. Apparently seal team six will be rescuing my dear uncle the illustrious, blessed and stinky fingered Art Vandelay. He was kidnapped a few weeks ago at the bottom of a ten story building by a cleaner at a law firm and made to eat rotten ham and pretend to be the best boyfriend evarrr!!1!11!! Do you think those greedy inaccurate corporate weather channels or anyone called Barry would have given me that sort of news? Nevarrr!!1!11!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Please don't call my lady lawyer twat "rotten ham". I am kosher and this offends me greatly. Rotten beef is more like it.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I think op, he was just trying to see how much you would listen to him. if you had done what he asked you would have been subjective to more of his lies. good thing you got out of there. sometimes I do that too op, where i have thanked my date even though it was a bad date for what I have no clue either.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The first four comments are great:)

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  8. Great news from Connor everyone. Art has been rescued, only lost 3 fingers and a tooth, and that arch villain HamYouKnow has been taken into custody. Kathryn Bigelow tipped to direct the movie, working title, Zero Ham Ten Story.

    ReplyDelete
  9. OP bruised his fragile ego, he needs to grow up.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ugh..he was looking for a golden shower. The lady disappointed him.

    ReplyDelete

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