7/16/2013

Or a Brain

Story Sent in by Brenda:

It was a normal first date dinner with online guy Eric when he leaned over my stir-fried vegetables and coughed on them.

Leaning back in his seat, he wiped his mouth and said, "Eat it. It'll prove I don't have the plague."

Not much else was said. I didn't eat any more, and he only paid for my meal after I insisted on it. Only date.

41 comments:

  1. You go girl! I can't believe someone would do that. How disgusting.

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  2. The plague is a mofo. He was only allowing you to do your due diligence.

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  3. Shortest ABCotD ever...or is Jarrrrrred just getting damn lazy?

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  4. I would have done the same thing to his meal op, and be like but I do have the plague but as a joke though but don't tell him the truth. And then when he says he won't eat his. say now you understand how i feel about you coughing on my meal.

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  5. But what if he did eat it blue? And didn't get the plague and knew you were lying? Or worse! What if she had the plague, unknowingly gave it to him and ends up getting sued when he hired a lady lawyer? Things could get ugly

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  6. She was mad because he coughed on her food, and when someone says they don't have something (like the plague) that means they DO have it! He was mad that he had to pay for food you didn't eat. He did tell you he didn't have the plague after all, you prima donna. Go dinner whore with someone else next time.

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  7. Kez, if he did eat it than that his problem, and if he got the plague it his own fault he chose to eat it. He could have said no. so he risks that chance.

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  8. Online Guy Eric is always coughing in my food too.

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  9. Well, if you eat this with regular utensils then you totes get all plague-ified. If you instead it with not-a-spoon-but-like-a-spoon-and-don't-call-it-a-spork-I'm-a-special-snowflake-and-you're-not then you're in the clear, where by clear I mean stuck with the plague and the bill.

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  10. He probably wouldn't have eaten his meal if OP spat on it and said she didn't have the pox.

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  11. Eric totes had the plague. He came back positive for herpagonasyphilaids, which he got from that slhoroochie that he did on that bed of trash while his twin watched. Twice.

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  12. Why not just wait till he not looking and switch plague food with your food? Then he will eat it and catch his own plague! LOL

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  13. I've been damned lazy for years. The site has long since gained sentience and now runs itself. Would that I could say the same for some of you.

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  14. Awww, Jarrrrrrrrrrrrrred, would you deny your own creations? We're just anamatronics you made to comment on your site so you don't feel alone. What else were you gonna do in my case with that car battery and liposuction clinic waste?

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  15. Who does that? You go girl for making him pay.

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  16. I was going to make some spicy edible soaps. Why? What were you going to do with it?

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  17. @ Blue Blue - Is that what you were doing when you coughed on my plate last night? If you wanted the last banana that bad mom/dad, you could have just asked.

    @ JMG - Can I have some of your soaps?

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  18. A true gentleman coughs on the food, to verify the non-existence of plague, AND pays for it.

    As long as you pay for it it's fine. Can any lady lawyers confirm this?

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  19. Green Green, I for one do not cough on anyone food, I cough on my own food. so that no one wants it.

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  20. This seems to be fitting here with these conversation participants.

    http://www.lyricsondemand.com/onehitwonders/bluelyrics.html

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  21. @ Blue Blue - Are you calling your only child a liar? I'm hurt mom/dad! Wait till I tell dad/mom on you! We need to stick together on this blog...at least that's what our therapist told us.

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  22. Green Green, I am not your mother/father, we are siblings. We might stick together depending.

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  23. @ Blue Blue - I know you and I look the same age, but everyone knows when you put Blue Blue together with Yellow Yellow, you get Green Green. That's just basic. But I'm a good kid and you can still borrow my outfits when we go to clubs together :-)

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  24. Green Green, You should know that I am not your mother/father. Those color mixing are true, but I didn't mix with anyone.

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  25. @ Blue Blue - I'm signing us up for Maury....Or Bob Ross! Also, can I borrow the car this weekend?

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  26. @ Green Green, Sign us up all you want it will only prove you are wrong, because you see I never mixed with anyone, I still true to my color, and never mixed with any other color. As for your car needs, sorry dude but my mode of transportation is a bicycle.

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  27. @ Blue Blue - How do you know I'm a dude? Not saying that I am or that I am not. You cannot make assumptions because you do not know. Also, the bike will be fine.

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  28. Blue blue and green green conversation, absurd level: infinte.

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  29. @ Green Green, I call all females or males dude. I didn't make assumptions. And about the bicycle situation goes, Sorry you can't borrow it, I have work this weekend, I am not a classy lady lawyer, or an Architect, or a Steve, or a Shoe, or a Fizziks, or a Fly, or a Howie, or a kitty rose, or a small city girl, for I do not have the luxury of resting on weekend as they do. I must work in order to have that luxury some day. Green Green if we are to stick together than where has your half of the rent be? That why I can only have one banana for dinner.

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  30. There is only one shoe! That is me! But you don't know if I'm a left or right shoe. Who will complete the pair?

    THERE IS ONLY ONE LADY LAWYER!

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  31. Shoe, maybe you should reread my sentence, I said I am not you and can not afford a weekend of resting. I must work cause Green Green keeps trying to steal my bananas that all my hard earn paychecks go to.

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  32. Blue, if our date goes well, maybe I can take you away from a life of tedious labor...

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  33. Steve, how nice of you to offer. But even if it goes well, I would still keep my jobs, so we would have an increase in our money combine! or just in case you decide to leave me. Either way i still keep them just for back up purposes.

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  34. @ Steve - You're going to break up a family, man! But on the bright side, you'll get Green Green as a stepson/daughter and you can get that sweet ambiguous lovin' from Blue Blue!

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  35. Ambiguous loving > no loving...

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  36. Architect, I am not Green Green mother/father. I never mixed with anyone!

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  37. @ Blue Blue - I don't know Blue, s/he seems pretty sure that you are her mom/dad. Plus you are sharing an apartment so that leads me to think there is some connection. Maybe you should adopt her!

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  38. @ Architect, I am not I don't know where s/he got that idea, but I am not a mother/father. There is a connection we are siblings.

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