7/12/2013

Huggin' Out

Story Sent in by Dana:

"I hope you'll let me hug you," were Walter's unexpected first words to me when we finally met in person. I let him, and he said, "Our first hug! The first hug of many!" The warning bells clanged.

At dinner, he asked me strange questions, like if I had any stuffed animals and if I hugged them. He would also say, "I can't wait to hug you again," at alarmingly frequent intervals.

After the meal, we walked the lovely landscaped grounds of a local church. He sidled close to me and said, "I just want to give you a hug," and he did before I could protest.

The hug lasted a long time, until I finally pulled away. He said, "You're fun to hug! I could hug you all night."

That was great. I told him I had a thing to go do and ended the date. He never wrote me back, thank God.

33 comments:

  1. He's into cuddling, but another socially inept dater who doesnt know how to communicate. Nice to know despite her warning bells OP still managed to be a dinner whore.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cuddle_party

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  2. Ah..the old dinner whore chestnut. That really only applies if the OP says the date paid or if the bad date exhibited rude or very strange behavior before dinner. Since the OP didn't mention who paid and Walter's behavior was only slightly weird, I reckon she split the bill with Walter the Care Bear. (((((Hugs!)))))

    I myself have no need for hugs. As a lady lawyer who is engaged to the illustrious Art Vandelay, I have eschewed physical acts of affection because it's very blue collar. I only engage in no touching threesomes with Steve and BlueBlue (who is totally a straight transwoman with a bagina). The things those two do! Dirty birds, both of 'em.

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  3. But the number 4 is a physical act... Are you and art not doing that anymore? Are things ok between you two? And how will you make perfect lawyer babies?? This is all very distressing

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  4. You're right perfect lady lawyer. I made an assumption about the dinner whore part. I hope I'm still invited to the wedding, my invite is in the mail right?

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  5. I'ma take Blue Blue into the ladies' room and do a Number 3...

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  6. Number 4 1/2, hugging while taking a dump, OP seriously missed out on he good stuff here.

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  7. I think the comment about the stuffed animals was most telling. I think we have a furry on our hands here.

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  8. Op, he wanted to scare you a away cause his only love is his mom. He just go on these dates so that he interacts with people. And Steve, I rather you not do a number 3 at the same time.

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  9. Ew. Clingy people should be pushed down a flight of stairs.

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  10. @ Kez - You should be very distressed. Without the physical act of hand holding, Art had delved even more intensely into any tranny hooker he can find. Once, stumbling blind with lust under a bridge near Chinatown, he saw two familiar faces from his lawyer love's circle. For one it was impossible to determine the gender, setting Art aflame.

    Blue and Shoe scurried faster and faster away from the architect-turned-marine-biologist masturbating under his trench coat, until they reached a ersatz Asian bistro run by Food Network's other waste of skin, Guy Fieri, having it's grand opening. Art raced inside before he lost his quarry. The place was crowded, but Art was not to be denied. He grabbed the pseudo chef by his highlights. Fieri whimpered, "Take your order?" and Art screamed, "I want Blue & Shoe, Guy-san."

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  11. I don't think so fizziks, I can beat up Art if he lays a hand on me. After all I'm trained with skills of an assassin. He would be dead, I don't need to scurry.

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  12. A mid-twenties to mid-thirties female Asian assassin with an abnormally small head *on her shoulders* - interesting.

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  13. kitty rose, you say that you find more about me each post I make. Kitty Rose, what would you do if you found out all your findings about me to be inaccurate? not going to say if it true or not true.

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  14. No offence Blue Blue...but I'm tiring of this game and I find Tanette13 FAR more interesting!

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  15. and Fizziks
    and Kitty Rose
    The Architech
    Tryn2Fly
    Devilyouknow
    and of course Steve.

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  16. It's just a hunch double B. Plus if I found out everything I assumed was inaccurate then I would inevitably know more about you.

    Yes I second that! Tanette is a pretty lady! (If that IS your real photo.)

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  17. Howie, if you are tired of this game why not tell everyone else? They are the ones who are trying to find out everything. No offense taken cause I am not interesting anyway.

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  18. @ fizziks. I almost believed your story. You missed one thing, I would have never ran away from a furiously masturbating Mr. Vandelay.

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  19. Anyway, OP, I think he wanted to hug you like his stuffed animals.

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  20. Just to let everyone know, my relationship with Art is perfect! I don't know how any of you could think otherwise. If it weren't, I wouldn't be here reading bad date stories with all you losers who obviously don't have happy relationships or college degrees.

    The wedding is still on and The Architect will still be my maid of honor. BlueBlue will be flower girl as it's a job even a child can do and Tanette will be an usherette. Steve and Howie will park cars, Fizziks will officiate. The rest of you may watch the event from across the street or read about it on my new blog Art + Devil: A Love For The Ages.

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  21. @Devil. I have recently been privileged enough to be included in make believe stories and associations. How dare you not include me in yours!

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  22. I will be selling burritos across the street for such an event. Business will be booming:)

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  23. @kitty rose - you have whatever sad unofficial reception fare you want at your unsanctioned event, but in addition to officiating I'm also the caterer and we'll be having something completely not blue-collar.

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  24. My sad unofficial reception is for every blue-collar person (including myself *sob*) who is not worthy enough to receive an invitation to such a glorious event. We too will celebrate Art + Devil's love across the street (despite not being invited) because we are happy for (and mildly jealous) of them..... and totally NOT obsessed with them....and no, our plans don't include kidnapping the perfect couple to add to our disturbing shrine built miles under the city... Why would you assume that????

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  25. Grab your ankles Howie & Steve as I plan on hitting that car park with a roll of one ply. Once I've digits buried to the third knuckle in each of you magnificent steeds I'll hook and hold. Then with rollerblades and my best tranny hooker outfit I'll ride behind the startled boys, down the wedding isle, to rescue a furiously masturbating Art Vandely from the alter. He won't be able to resist the cock/pussy hooker combo and will leap on my back, a little wriggle of the fingers and we all escape into the sunset in a cloud of rose petals. BEST WEDDING EVAH!!11!1!!

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  26. @TN2F - whoa that's impressive. Are you rolling in from the ski area?

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  27. Fingers crossed Mz Fizziks that the ski fields gentleman in question caters at Devil's wedding.I going to dress up Howie & Steve in giraffe suits in anticipation. I'll tow my wedding present, tied with a pink ribbon of course, behind me in a decorative painters bucket.

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  28. Shoe, I do apologize for leaving you out of the festivities but it's finals week and I'm supa stressed AND I'm trying a very important caste ATM. I'm usually not that forgetful or bitchy. Since you have made me laugh consistently with your comments here, you may be the DJ at my amazing wedding. Art and I only listen to adult contemporary so make sure you have lots of Leo Sayer and Christopher Cross records on hand.

    Kitty Rose, you have already proven how blue collar you are by revealing your plans to sell stereotypical blue collar food across the street from my wedding. I was going to ask you to be a bridesmaid but it's obvious you'll sell details and photos of my wedding to all the tabloids. Peasant.

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  29. It's a special occasion Devil so ensure everyone is fitted with one of these when its time for Number 4.
    http://www.turdtwister.com/

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  30. Please we love you!!!!11!!111!!!!

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  31. Y'all make my heart smile.

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