7/10/2013

Holy Role Model

Story Sent in by Jolee:

Religion came up on my first date with Ricky. He asked me how I wanted my future children raised. I'm agnostic and I told him, "Nothing too crazy. Just love and respect for everyone, I guess."

"Love and respect for everyone, you guess?" he mimicked, "How will they learn love and respect? They need a role model."

"I'll try my best," I said.

"God doesn't need to try His best. He's just perfect, the way he is. You want a role model, point yourself to Him."

"I think I'll let my own child decide, but thanks."

"Hope your kid enjoys hell! Ha ha ha!" he laughed.

After that short date, I banished him to the never-calling-back circle. Even though he emailed me to tell me he wanted to go out again.

21 comments:

  1. Hey... what happened to the story about the girl who wanted a stalker that was posted this morning? It's... gone...?!

    Steve cries "FOUL!"

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  2. No one needs such a barbaric, jealous and unreasonable role model.

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  3. Hey....what happened to the story about the guy who wanted to fuck a chicken posted this morning? It's....gone..!?

    Howie cries "FOUL FOWL!"

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  4. That one had a good comment thread going too!

    You should have told him about your perfect friends that are about to be married. You know, the illustrious architect Art Vandelay and his saucy lady lawyer wife to be, Devil You Know. They are the go-to for role models and your child would obviously grow up as a perfect clone with them around. They could even teach him how to do a #4!

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  5. @ Architect, yeah, I wanted to see Blue Blue reply to my suggestions!! :-(

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  6. Steve here is my reply I don't allow anyone to pay full bill price which means I pay half and they pay half, or I pay for what i chose to eat and they pay for what they chose to eat. and i still won't disclose my gender. no matter what you think i am.

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  7. Blue, would you make less money and chart your ovulation, as per Fizziks' suggestion?

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  8. @JMG - would I be amiss in thinking my date partner had something to do with that post being removed?

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  9. What if I don't have an ovulation (not saying I do or don't) But also no I will not do Fizziks suggestion. Because I believe in earning my own money and doing what I need to do to pay off all my bills.

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  10. The post isn't gone. It's been moved to the second page of older posts, where it awaits commenting to your hearts' content.

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  11. Blue, I want to look into your deep blue eyes, gaze upon your graceful, feminine, adam's apple-less neck, and discuss procreating. With my man-parts. And your girl-ovaries. Since you're a female.

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  12. hahahah your funny steve. What would you do if I had an adam's apple? (not saying I do or don't)

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  13. What happened to the story about the guy who had his nut sack out on the date?
    I had three comments of profound wisdom on that beautiful love story.

    Fly cries Fowl Balls!

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  14. What the hell? No one except The Architect is paying attention to me and my comments about my Perfect Relationship! I call foul on THIS!!!! I will sue each and every one of you for sexual harassment and libel because I'm a lawyer!

    I must admit, I do like how Steve is still trying to make "frankly" happen and is now hitting on the clearly gender confuzzled Blue Blue who ovulates and has an Adam's apple. It's cool Blue, this is an accepting environment. No one batted an eye when I disclosed that my Perfect Man Art Vandelay likes to frequent tranny hookers.

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  15. I have an adam's apple. What's your point?

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  16. Are there points on an Adam's apple? I definitely don't have an Adam's apple. I'm a woah-man! :) Anyway, I missed everything because I woke up late and didn't get my morning dose of abadcaseofthedates. And then this evening I enjoyed watching people eat overpriced food at the Taste of Chicago. Oh yeah, and I also watched Fun. I knew one song. I'm terrible with music and such if it's not from my favorite peeps. Anywho, I didn't miss the tranny hookers deal with Art Vandalay. I'm just not one to judge you know.

    Oh right, OP, you should be happy that he cared enough to save your soul. I used to be in Campus Crusade for Christ and if we really cared about saving your soul, we would be hard core trying to convert ya. You should totally take it as a compliment. And on that note, remember when Elaine got mad at Putty for not trying to convert her since he was a Christian. It could be as bad as that.

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  17. I think it's very brave of you Devil to out yourself as a tranny hooker on a public forum.

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  18. I have a Granny Smith Apple, does that count?

    @ Devil - Who hasn't frequented a hotel with a tranny hooker from time to time? Let them cast the first stone.

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  19. I was just joking about having an adam's apple. I'm a woman who has had a kid, which makes me better than all y'all who suck at relationships so bad you haven't found anyone to pop out a screaming brat with. So there.

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  20. Sure you were joking Connie, sure you were.

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  21. What's the title of the moved story? I wanna know so bad why anybody wants s stalker?
    Oh and does anybody else think we have dramatic improvement in blue blue (not saying man or woman) writing? May be s/he/it has been following jared's ink well.

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