7/09/2013

Disgust at Length

Story Sent in by Niera:

When I was 19, I was out to dinner with Jack when I had to use the bathroom. Upon returning to the table, he was laughing to himself.

"What's funny?" I asked him.

"I imagined you pooping," he said.

I said, "That's disgusting."

"I thought girls liked honest guys. So much for that."

"Girls like guys who aren't gross."

He said, "Everyone poops. You'll just have to get used to the idea."

He spent the rest of dinner talking and laughing to himself. What I got used to was not seeing him again.

24 comments:

  1. @ JMG - Love the title!

    Everyone also has intestinal bacteria, still doesn't make it good table conversation.

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  2. I bet OP's fecal matter comes out with a lil' pink ribbon tied around it, not unlike everyone's favorite lady lawyer...

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  3. I think we all need to hold hands and have a shared moment.

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  4. :) Howdy, Steve, by the by.

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  5. Hello Tanette... whatchu wearin', girl?

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  6. Not sure what the issue is, I was told that it's better to leave something to the imagination. It's the only reason I stopped hauling my special chair outfitted with an empty painter's bucket to my dinner dates. Empty at the start anyway.

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  7. Op, what you should have done was reverse the table on him, meaning you should have started laughing and then when he asks you just say imagining how small your downstairs is.

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  8. Blue Blue, are you a hot chick IRL? I think you are.

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  9. @ Blue Blue - That's a good call Blue. His downstairs is probably only like 200 square feet! You can't even fit a good sized living room and kitchen into that! LOL

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  10. I hate the 1 ply cheap paper restaurants use. Either your finger breaks through and you end up giving yourself a prostate check or it irritates a hemorrhoid til it bleeds like a stuck pig.

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  11. Before showing a date your downstairs, where they will be rubbing the lotion on their skin, let them know you are serious by bringing back your stool from the restaurant bathroom with a beautiful pink ribbon tied around it.

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  12. Steve, What does IRL stand for? and I am sorry to inform you that i do not want to disclose what gender I am. Architect, that was a good one. lol

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  13. IRL means In Real Life. In other words, Steve thinks you might be a foxy chick and would like you to confirm this. If you are, he'll be pleased because all his fapping to your eloquent posts will not have been in vain. If you're not, he'll likely cut off his penis and shoot himself in the face. This is why it is paramount that you disclose this information. Steve's life hangs in the balance.

    Personally, I believe you're a highly evolved hermaphrodite spider monkey who has learned to use your owner's computer. I suspect this as I have a college degree and did not train to be an architect thus I have a shitload of intelligence.

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  14. IRL means in real life. And Steve I am wearing tight pants and a colorful top. And Blue you are brilliant and Howiefeltherpoop. No? Fiz I think the painters bucket is ok as long as you decorate it. And ¤

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  15. Devil you know and Tanette13 Thank you for clearing up what IRL stands for. Devil you know, It must intrigue you to also know what gender I am. Like I said earlier I will not disclose my gender.

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  16. Blue, I think you're a sentient amoeba and therefore gender-less.

    That or a woman.

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  17. JMG, it seems you too are also in intrigued by my gender. I still won't disclose my gender.

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  18. Nah BlueBlue, I'm not intrigued or even slightly curious. If I were, I'd ask because that's what I do when I'm intrigued and/or curious. In case you didn't follow the above, I was just clarifying why old Steve was asking about your gender. It wasn't a masterful ploy to get you to admit what equipment is betwixt your legs.

    I come here to rub my Perfect Relationship, upcoming Perfect Marriage and awesome professional job and degree in other people's face. I've no time for the other demented parlor games you genitalia obsessed commenters play.

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  19. No. I'm not intrigued by the obvious.

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  20. Devil you know, When people say their life is perfect with everything perfect it really means it not and that it just facade.

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  21. J, you are my sunshine.

    Dude, Devil, are we invited to you and Art's wedding? Because I'd be pretty miffed if I didn't get an invitation. Goshdarnit. Golly. Gee wiz.

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  22. I'm putting a pink ribbon around a huge wedding present for Devil & Art right now.

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  23. You guys are killing me! Can one technically die from laughter? I think so based on that one Monty Python skit. And remember, you can't spell "Slaughter" without "laughter"!

    What if Blue Blue is really a chat bot and we are all being punked by a machine! Or a scarier thought....What if Blue is actually a burgeoning A.I.? It visits this forum to learn about the intricacies of the human species!

    I'm also getting a present together for Devil. It's this paint bucket I got from Fizziks, and I had Tanette decorate it! Best wedding present EVAH!

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