Along Came a Spider

Story Sent in by Aaron:

Erica and I went to a violinist performance (that we had both wanted to see) at our university and then we went out for something light. As we walked to the place, she looked at my neck and said, "Eww."

I asked her what it was, and she said that she thought my neck was a spider. Not that she saw a spider on my neck, as that would've made some sense. No. She said she "thought my neck was a spider." Okay then. I assured her that my neck was anything but a spider, and we walked on to a bakery that was open late.

I bought us both a couple of little scones and a moment after I sat down with her, she jumped out of her seat, pointed at me, and screamed, making me jump nearly out of my skin. She backed against the wall, nearly in hysterics. I asked her what was wrong, but I doubt she heard. I stood up to try to calm her down, but she ducked away from me and ran out.

I saw her three days later, as we were both in the same history class. I approached her, kind of hoping for a repeat performance, but instead of theatrics, she asked me, very calmly, to meet her behind one of the school buildings in a half hour.

When I met her in the mostly-deserted area, she said, very calmly, "Talk to me ever again and I'll slap you."

It floored me almost as much as her exit from our date. She turned to walk away and I blurted the first thing that came to mind, the first thing I remembered about our brief time out together, besides how it ended.

I said, "Oh my God. Erica, there's a spider in your hair."

She was pretty calm about it at first, running her fingers through her hair, but then grew more and more freaked out, ultimately tearing at her hair and shaking her head. I did say the area was mostly deserted, but the few who were there certainly saw what she was doing. My job done, I left. I never spoke to her again, and so she never slapped me.


  1. Yeah, meth will do that to a bitch.

  2. ^^yuuuuup. Clever way to mess with that crazy chick too. Good on ya.

  3. As I'm half magnificent eagle and half majestic white lion I find other hybrid creatures are often jealous of my perfect combination. Who wouldn't want to slap a silly mix like a human with a spider for a neck. Team Erica.

  4. LOL TryN2Fly. And, OP, I likes ya.

  5. I remember this girl (friend of a friend) who we were all out on new years eve saying she'd slap me (for no reason at all, really). I said 'Id just slap you back'.

    She slapped me. I slapped her back immediately. She didn't say much for the rest of the night.

    Yeah, I dont let people hit me for no reason. Not sure what she thought would happen.

  6. I feel like a lot of times the comments rage on the OP for going overboard with aggressive retaliation "Don't mess with them, there's something wrong"

    Everybody is team OP now? Was it the slapping?


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