5/01/2013

Written from a Snug Display Case

Story Sent in by Elizabeth:

Jeremy was normal, online. I guess that was just an act, though. In person, he asked me if I wanted to go see his car. I said sure, and when he took me to see it, he said, "Do you think you could escape from my trunk?"

I said, "Yeah, all trunks have that safety lever on the inside so I could get out."

"Not if I was going 70," he said. "Come on, let's do lunch."

It was 7pm. I asked him, "Don't you mean dinner?"

He said, "Whatever you want to call it, let's do it."

He took me out to a nice French place that made really great homemade soups. When I told him that I had been there before and recommended the soups, he got sullen and asked, "Oh. You've been here before?"

I said, "Yeah, but I really like it!"

He asked, "Do you think you could escape from a basement with no windows?"

Trying to laugh it off, I said, "Is the basement going 70?"

He said, "It's a basement. Not a car."

I asked, "Why would you ask me that? Are you planning to abduct me or something? I told my friends and family that I'd be on a date with you, tonight."

He got even more sullen and said, "Let's just enjoy lunch."

We both ordered soup. He stared at me through dinner, probably imagining me in his trunk or his basement or his closet or wherever else. He asked me if I wanted to go back to his place after dinner to meet his housemates, but I told him that I was fine just being out with him.

He paid for dinner, we walked out together, he wished me a quick goodnight, and that was the end of it all. I thought he just had a dark sense of humor, but maybe I was wrong and it was more serious than that. In retrospect, I think I shouldn't have stayed past his first question.

16 comments:

  1. This was SO going to be a bad case of the murders. I mean WTF OP?

    Side note and true story: Was riding with Fizziks one day in her car and she pulls onto this dirt road and starts heading into the forest. She turns to me slowly and looks me in the eye while hitting the locks on the door and says "This is the part where I tell you I'm not a serial killer." Laughed so hard I couldn't breathe! You're the best chica!

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  2. Wow, this girl could write the book on dinner wh0ring. Excellent execution... :::slow clap:::

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  3. Serial killer is like a murder slut. I don't do this with just any guy; you're very special to me!

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  4. Um, I think you have the right to ess-cuse yourself after someone asks if you could escape from their trunk. I mean, really: HEAD FOR THE HILLS, GIRL!

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  5. holy snickerdoodles!!!! op, why did you tell him that there a lever that you could use. You shouldn't have done that and you should have said no you can't escape.

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  6. By jove, you're right.

    Wait. Why the eff would anyone do that? To lull the serial killer into a false sense of security? How are you still alive?

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  7. Such a bad date; all OP got to eat was soup and not even a see-you-later grope and abduction attempt. Did she try pointing out that her skin is great for making a woman-suit? Or offer to go for a long walk with her neck already in a noose?

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  8. This girl ain't a c*ck-tease, she's a murder-tease!

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  9. obligatory joke about Steve getting into my trunk goes here.

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  10. I think she just met Buffalo Bill Jr. Glad he's not wearing her.

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  11. Twelve comments and no one mentioned the comma suffocation? Every sentence in the first paragraph... I think JMG does it just to screw with us now. XD

    Anyway, story. Noma's right. I wish I'd said her comment. I'd like you to pretend that's my name on there.

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  12. @ Tannette - Obligatory comment about you having a lot of junk in your trunk here. ;-)

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  13. Done, and done, Ankhaphobia. The overuse, of commas, drives me nuts, too.

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