5/03/2013

Pasta Fuggendo

Story Sent in by Debra:

Among our many messages to each other, Ron told me that there was a meteor shower approaching earth and that he wanted a "meteor buddy" with whom to watch them one night. He asked me out for dinner and meteor-gazing.

We were supposed to meet for dinner at a really nice Italian place right at the edge of town. When he showed up he said that he had already had dinner, but that he would accompany me inside if I wanted to eat.

"Weren't we going to have dinner together?" I asked him.

He said, "Nope!" even though we had definitely made those arrangements. I was miffed, but I went inside and ordered a pasta primavera to go. He then led me up to his meteor-viewing spot.

There were a few clouds, but a mostly unobstructed view of the sky. We sat down on a grassy patch and I broke out my dinner. He asked if he could have some, and I asked him, "I thought you already had dinner?"

"Nope!" he said. I let him have a few bites but I kept most of it for myself.

Suddenly he looked up and pointed. "There!"

I looked up and saw a handful of stars and nothing else. He then pointed to another part of the sky. "There! Just now!"

"Where?" I asked, "I didn't see anything."

He pointed in another direction. "There! A whole bunch of–"

He grabbed my container of primavera and bolted off with it. I was in flats and I tore after him. Once he realized that I was tailing him, he squealed and threw the pasta container back at me. It hit the ground, but it was still mostly in one piece, although some of the pasta had spilled out. I let him go, found that there was enough pasta left in the container to finish my meal, looked back into the sky one last time in case there were actually any meteors, and then I headed off, myself.

23 comments:

  1. This guy was like the Hamburglar of Italian food!

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  2. And about as effective at the thieving arts and sciences. I'd put him at mid-level government employee. At best.

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  3. Hey! I'M a mid-level gov't employee!

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  4. This is actually a funny one. A story to tell. Thanks for sharing, OP.

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  5. That fits you perfectly, Steve, given how many times you've tried to steal my virtue.

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  6. When the stars make you drool/
    just like a pasta fagiole/......
    ...lead a strange woman to a dark spot and steal her takeout.

    I'll say this for ya, OP -- you didn't follow him into the woods after he asked if you could escape from his trunk. But it's a low bar.

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  7. I'm a low level government employee and the OP chased a crazy guy who took her food....and when he screamed and threw it, she salvage it and ate it? You OP, sound like a complete asteroid.

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  8. Aw, Howie, your heart is just full of dark matter. Maybe he made her pulsar quicken!

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  9. Whaaaaat? Why? Why would you chase the guy first of all, and why would you take the thrown away food? Why?

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  10. After initial shock I actually liked that op let him neither steal not spoil her dinner.

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  11. I give the OP props for chasing after the guy. If it were me though, I would have let him go. If he was such a retard/loser/broke butt that he had to resort to that to eat, then consider it a charity donation. I doubt I would have let him have any of though after he lied and said he already ate. At that poin its time to call it a night and move on.

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  12. op, i think he wasn't broke, it just that he wanted someone else to pay for his meal and when you didn't offer he was sullen so he got creative.

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  13. I think this is the first case on ABCotD I've seen of a guy attempting to pull a dinner-whore on his date...

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  14. J, It's okay. I stole Steve's virtue long before he attempted to steal yours. Also I am wondering why there are no fat bitch jokes since she ate the food after he threw it and chased after him unless of course, Howie, an asteriod is a euphamism for fat bitch. Feel free to clarify.

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  15. It wasn't on first dates, but I've had guys I was dating say they "already ate," thrn proceed to mooch food off my plate!!! I HATE THAT! That was a determining factor in my decision to stop seeing someone I dated last year.

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  16. It wasn't on first dates, but I've had guys I was dating say they "already ate," thrn proceed to mooch food off my plate!!! I HATE THAT! That was a determining factor in my decision to stop seeing someone I dated last year.

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  17. I'm only on here so I appear smart & funny like everyone else and have a chance with Steve & Howie. Is it working yet? Sadly, no.

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  18. Long-time lurker, first time responder: I am NOT a mid-level employee, nor do I play one on TV, and out of the hundreds of stories here I felt compelled to reply to this one. GIVE the freak the pasta, and run run run..not after him, but in the other direction. How you could even have an appetite after this "date", and enough of one to eat food that had fallen on the ground? Nothing here was worth fighting for, except maybe your dignity.

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  19. Welcome to the club, TryN2Fly. Maybe we can take turns with Steve & Howie. And you are smart and funny. ;)

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  20. I am a little worried. Of late, we are seeing a lot about food related date stories. Is America having a food crisis or is it an affordability issue? People stealing food, eating food thrown on the ground, not paying for their own share of food, terrible food choices, first dates in food courts.. what the hell is going on!!

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  21. I know, right? First dates in restaurants, in cafes... what gives?

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  22. How can these people even call themselves human? With their eating, and their drinking.....Just disgusting.

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  23. She should have gone on a date with Ben (from http://www.abadcaseofthedates.com/2013/05/the-bestial-aroma-of-crazy.html) since I think he would really appreciate a woman who's able to catch her own dinner.

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