5/15/2013

No. Slap Yourself a Few More Times.

Story Sent in by Irene:

George and I were out to a normal dinner when he pulled out a big metal paperclip, inserted it into his nose, dug it around a little, then pulled it out and put it back in his pocket.

Reading my face, he explained, "I don't use my finger for picking, so I use that instrument. I clean it, so don't worry."

I still didn't say anything. He continued, "You're still grossed out?"

I said, "Yeah."

He slapped himself in the face and said, "Bad George! Bad George!" then looked up at me and asked, "That better?"

I changed the subject completely, but also did my best to end dinner and the date as soon as possible.

10 comments:

  1. I don't know which is more disturbing - the fact that George thought it was a-okay to dig in his nose in a public place in front of someone who was eating, the fact that he carries a "clean" paper clip around just for this purpose or that he refers to a paper clip as an instrument. The self administered corporal punishment and scolding is really just the cherry on top of the booger cake.

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  2. Gross!!! Dude, go to the bathroom if you need to go mining for nose gold!

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  3. He also uses a coat hanger to scrape dingle-berries from his corn hole...and a fork to scratch his crotch...but don't worry...he cleans them.

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  4. ^I hear crotch-forks are also good at feeding ice cream to your date...

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  5. Once you've had crotch fork ice cream you'll never go back. Only way to eat it.

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  6. But he said he cleans the paper clip after he goes green-gold mining with it! That says "class". Your loss, OP.

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  7. http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dingleberries

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  8. Did someone say ice cream? My dessert cutlery is getting slippery.

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