5/24/2013

Eww de Toilette

Story Sent in by Jon:

I had been seeing Nancy for a little less than a month. We played volleyball together with a local group. This particularly sweaty summer afternoon, we wound up back at her house to shower and change before going out to dinner at one of my favorite places.

She showered first while I waited. Once she was done, she called for me from the bathroom to let me know that the shower was free.

When I arrived in the bathroom, she was half-naked, but as we'd already done it together, it wasn't any kind of big deal.

What was a big deal was when she applied deodorant. It slipped out of her hand and fell into the toilet. As I watched, she reached in with her bare hand, took it out, and continued to apply it to her underarms as if nothing gross had just happened.

She caught me staring and asked, "What?"

"You're rubbing toilet-deodorant on yourself."

She shrugged. "Happens all the time. My toilet's clean."

Eww. I had to ask, "Would you go on using your toothbrush if it fell in there?"

She said, "That's never happened, so I don't know. My toilet's really clean, though."

I went on with my shower and we went out to dinner, but the whole time I thought about her toilet-water-armpits. It ended up being that plus a couple of other indicators that ultimately led to the two of us not lasting.

26 comments:

  1. Team Nancy. OP is germophobic.

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  2. Hey man, it's toilet water, not sewage. Your dog drinks that shit all the time then licks you on the face. No problems there? Your date goes down on you then kisses you on the mouth...no problems there? She just used it under her arms, BFD.

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  3. What else was she supposed to do? I guess to each his own...

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  4. This wouldn't bother me, unless the toilet hadn't been flushed. And then in that case, a rinse would be OK by me. I'm the opposite of you, OP - if she had thrown the deodorant in the trashcan just because it fell into a clean toilet, I would question whether she was a good match for me.

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  5. Team Nancy. I've actually done the same thing a few times. I just rinse it off, and go about my business. Toilet water is the same as tap water. Even if it were a bit dirty, it's not like you'd get the bubonic plague or something.

    Nancy seems like a cool, low-maintenance girl, and I'm sure a guy will one day be lucky to have her. Unfortunately for our Seinfeld-esque OP, it won't be him...

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  6. I'm in agreement with everyone else-as long as you rinse it off, its not a huge deal. Sounds to me like the OP is just either a clean freak or a germaphobe.

    When I arrived in the bathroom, she was half-naked, but as we'd already slept together, it wasn't any kind of big deal. If it wasn't a huge deal, you wouldn't have mentioned it.

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  7. These dates really make me appreciate who I do have.

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  8. Me too KatieGirl! I work hard all day then come home and all she wants to do is cuddle up with me. It makes me feel so good to know I'm missed and I have her full attention when I get home. Then we do a little heavy petting and I move right on to petting her butt. She just LOVES it! After that I put a little food and water in her bowls and we eat dinner together. I love my cat.

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  9. ^ Never forget the butt-play...

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  10. Toilet water is NOT the same as tap water. I'm not saying I'd break up with someone over this, but water in the bowl is not clean. Water in the TANK is clean. Water in the bowl has whatever residue of crap there is from the last thousand times it's been used.

    If someone put a big piece of crap on your dinner plate, would you rinse it with cold water for five seconds and then go ahead and use it? Pretty much what happens in your toilet.

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  11. Big deal Jerry. Toilet water is safe to drink. If she cleans her toilet all the time, who cares?

    @Jason. She's putting deodorant on her arm, not eating food out of the toilet.

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  12. @ Jason - I second Shoe's point.

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  13. I used bleach tablets in my toilet, so the water is pretty much void of any germs. Plus, I only poop rainbows, and my girlfriend is a girl, so she obviously doesn't poop...

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  14. UGH! I am with OP. That's simply disgusting.

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  15. I have a wonderful man in my life, I am truly blessed. Until he gets an attitude and then I'll start second guessing myself again.

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  16. @ KatieGirl - I am so with you! My cat gets an attitude some times and tries to scratch me and I'm like "What the fuck, kitty?" And she's all like "I'm a cat dude, that's my job". It's hard being in a committed relationship. I feel your pain KG.

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  17. KatieGirl, next time he cops an attitude, you're supposed to run to me for our angry hate-sex session. Awesomest 23 seconds of your life...

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  18. I am jealous on so many levels right now. Oh well. I married myself in 2010, so I'll always have my wife. ;) I have nothing else to add to the story, though.

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  19. I get why OP was bothered, but honestly: a good rinse in scalding hot water with soap and she's good to deodorize.

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  20. I want to go on Maury and take a lie detector test. If you're up for that I'm game Steve!

    My brother owns a cat that is a pain. It'll start howling because its lonely and wants company. I thought cats were supposed to be independent?!?!?!

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  21. Team Nancy! Totally sounds like something I would do.

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  22. I would hate-sex the shit out'a Steve.....and Tanette and you KatieGirl, Jared too and theArchitects cat. Please form an orderly queue.

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  23. At last, I'm in front of Architect's cat for something.

    See now, I thought this was pretty gross. I'm honestly surprised to learn how many of you would use (and likely do use) toilet-soaked deodorant.

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  24. "It ended up being that plus a couple of other indicators that ultimately led to the two of us not lasting."

    The other couple of indicators

    1. He wouldn't go down on her. OMG! That vag is gonna eat me!

    2. He got hugely turned on by naked men instead.

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  25. No worries Jared, my cat likes sloppy fifths. Also, I pre-soak all my deodorant in toilet water. It's the only way to go if you want that bathroom fresh scent to last all day long.

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