5/17/2013

Before the Devil Knows You've Dated

Story Sent in by Khristie:

What I found out on my date with Craig was that he was far more into religion than he ever made it seem on his profile. In fact, his profile was nearly the poster child of the non-religious. He mentioned his favorite beers, his  multiple trips to Atlantic City, and made a point of mentioning that he hadn't been to church in years. Lapsed and then some, like me.

On our date though, he quoted bible verses and looked down on me for practically everything. "What are you wearing? Where's your modesty?" "I wouldn't think being an attorney is a wise career choice for a lady." "How does it feel to be responsible for original sin?"

When I asked him why there was an apparent discrepancy between his faith as stated on his profile and as demonstrated in person he said, "Temptation is sometimes just too strong for me."

I wasn't into him after a little while of this, and although I stayed through lunch, out of politeness, there was no way in heaven or hell that there'd be a second date.

As we took a short walk after lunch, I was relieved that we were no longer on the topic of theology when he stopped walking and told me to stay still. He then took a few steps ahead and turned to face me. He walked toward me, then made an obvious bad step and said, "Oops, I'm tripping..." and he darted his face at mine, like for a kiss.

I turned my head away and he missed. He regained his footing and gave me a nasty look. I said, "What, was that your way to 'kiss' in a way that wouldn't be a sin?"

He said, "No! I wasn't trying to kiss you!"

"Then what were you trying to do?"

"Nothing! I just tripped! The devil isn't in me, I swear it!"

"That seemed like a kiss attempt to me."

"No!"

"All right..."

The date was pretty much over, thank God. A day later, an email arrived from him, telling me that his conscience was clear and that if I wanted solace, I could apologize and confess my "tempting" to him. I replied that I'd be glad to do so if he did the same to me, with regards to his hypocrisy. Unsurprisingly, no response to that.

9 comments:

  1. I met a guy similar to this Craig on Match. He was a former Mennonite who proceeded to tell me everything that was wrong and sinful about me (shouldn't be working, shouldn't wear pants, makeup, etc., shouldn't cuss or backtalk a man [fuck that!]) . Then he tried to kiss me and grab my boobs in one fell awkward swoop. I cut our meeting real short and then ignored his whiny texts about how I was a meanie/prude and how women are here for man's pleasure or some shit.

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  2. On our date though, he quoted bible verses and looked down on me for practically everything. "What are you wearing? Where's your modesty?" "I wouldn't think being an attorney is a wise career choice for a lady." "How does it feel to be responsible for original sin?"

    I understand being polite and staying for lunch, but why in the world would you stay with someone (aka a walk) when he obviously is both a hypocritical Christian who doesn't understand the tenements of his own religion and a sexist? One always has the ability to walk away.

    At the same time, this guy is an asshat who acts like a sexist chump towards his date and then attemps to "trip" into physical contact with her. What a great speciman of a man.

    Just some thought-I knew a guy like this years ago. He was very much into being the conservative chest beating male but yet at the same tme was semi-bisexual and called his male anatomy by female parts. He aslo thought nothing of stating that when he watched that movie "Jamestown" with Colin Ferrell, he'd like to see me like Pochantas, running free and primative in the woods wearing nothing but fur. He would enlighten me into society I do have Native American ancestory, but I sure as anything went to better schools than he has. I called him out and he stated I "took it the wrong way." Dear God, men like that need to be removed from the gene pool permanently.

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  3. That's what happens when you date Rick Santorum, OP.

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  4. KatieGirl, I encourage you to look up the second word in the following phrase from your comment:

    "the tenements of his own religion"

    And then perhaps also learn the word "tenets."

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  5. "The apartment block of his own religion" makes perfect sense Kate, I dunno what you're snarling about. :p

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  6. Wow, Kate, thank you so much for picking that up, I don't know how I missed that (tenets). My brain has just been so frazzled recently, but to know that people out there are looking out for me, especially on internet posting, warms my soul and brightens my day! Thank you so much, I will forever be in your debt!!!

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  7. mmmk then. I must admit that I am extremely attracted to religious men, especially if they are musicians. I used to be hyper Christian myself being involved in Christian groups in college before I fell into my own brand of temptation. We Christians had some good times singing songs and praying and all that fun stuff, so I still have a special place in my heart for those guys. Plus, I want to maybe perhaps violate them a little bit...

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  8. These kinds of people must think their deity is an idiot or doesn't mind them trying to make loopholes.

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  9. "These kinds of people must think their deity is an idiot or doesn't mind them trying to make loopholes."


    Interesting way of putting it.

    The "do as I say, not as I do" thing is pretty common everywhere, not just in religion. I've met lung surgeons who smoked 3 packs a day. I work with someone who lectures the people she supervises about staying professional and courteous, and then she spends most of the day talking so loudly about her drinking sprees that people can't hear their own customers on the phone. My ex-sis-in-law was always attacking people for their eating habits, and then she'd practically live of nachos and cake.

    People like Craig are why Jesus spent so much time lecturing about hypocracy.

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