5/07/2013

As Not Seen on TV

Story Sent in by Brenda:

On my date with Josh we walked to a department store and he offered to buy me any one item that I wanted. It was a generous offer, but I didn't really feel as though I deserved it, and further, I didn't want to take advantage of his generosity. It was our first date and I'll be the first to admit that I was confused by the situation.

The first thing I picked out was a little packet of chocolate. He said, "That's it? That's all you want? In a store with TVs, home entertainment systems, movies, furniture? You pick chocolate?"

I told him, "You don't have to buy me anything."

"I want to. You're beautiful and I'm happy. I'll buy you the candy, but pick something else."

I was increasingly uncomfortable with the situation, so I found a cheap pair of slippers in my size and told him that they would be sufficient.

He said, "No. What do you really want? I'm totally serious."

"So am I: nothing. Really. Thank you."

He said, "Then I'll pick something out for you," and he breezed right past me to the electronics section, where dwelt precisely nothing that I wanted. He led me down a line of HDTVs and pointed at one that I guessed was maybe middle-of-the-line. It was smaller than some but bigger than most.

"You want that," he said. It was a statement. Not a question.

"Josh, you can't just buy me a TV–"

He said, "And you can't just tell me what to do." He turned down the deserted aisle and yelled for a salesperson. One came after a minute, and Josh said, "We'll take this one."

"Josh, really, you don't have to–"

He pulled out his credit card and ignored me. I really, really, really didn't want the TV, and I didn't want him buying it for me. He ultimately said, "Then I'll buy it for myself," and for the moment, that shut me up. He ended up buying the TV, the slippers, and the chocolates for me, despite any protests on my part.

Once the TV was loaded in his SUV in the parking garage, he said, "Now let's drop this off at your house."

I said, "You said you were buying it for you."

He laughed. "I lied. Where's your house? I want to drop this off for you. It's the least I can do." He stepped closer and ran a hand through my hair. "And maybe you can invite me in to set it up for you, and you can thank me proper..."

I stepped away, cursing myself for being so stupid in not seeing what his plan was in the first place, but also frightened at what he would do when I rebuffed his advances.

"No, Josh. I don't want the TV, and I really don't want to go back to my house."

"Then we can go back to mine. I'll drop your TV off, after. Don't worry."

"No. I really don't like this situation. I didn't want the TV–"

"I just bought it for you," he said, raising his voice, "I just spent hundreds of dollars on something for you, and you refuse me?"

My turn to get angry. I screamed, "We never made a deal! You don't buy me!" I threw the bag with the slippers and chocolate down at his feet, then spun and stormed away.

He advanced on me and I screamed for the police. He backed off in a hurry, jumped into his SUV, and screeched off with his new TV, nearly running over the slippers and chocolate. I thought about leaving them there, but I made a snap decision to pick them up and leave with them. They were the least of what I deserved after that stunt. Of course, I never heard from him again.

14 comments:

  1. Yeah, you deserved those slippers, and the chocolate, probably a TV too. How did you not see the "I just bought you X so I get to have sex with you" coming? Anyway, this guy was a total scumbag. Hope he enjoys his new TV.

    This story just pisses me off on so many levels. Women are not for sale...except in Nevada and some other countries...and you're lower than whale shit at the bottom of the ocean if you try that move. But the OP pisses me off too. How could she be that naive? And then she thinks chocolate and slippers are ok for someone she just met to buy her? The douche is thinking "Well, those are ok so if I get her this TV I should be good to go!" He was being pushy and she was just trying to be nice, I'm sure, but the whole thing feels icky.

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  2. Op, I know he was a scum bag, but you should have gotten the hint when he said is that what you really want?

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  3. Why don't dudes like this just get an escort and cut out all the bullshit of thinking they're owed sex by non-hookers? It would save regular women from having to deal with asshats like this and will likely save the asshats from assault charges.

    I don't fault the OP one bit for not seeing this coming. The only thing she did wrong was not being more forceful and putting an end to the situation when she starting feeling uncomfortable before he bought the TV. Girls and women are trained to be polite even in uncomfortable situations which guys like this rely on.

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  4. This is why, whenever a guy gets offended that I wanna split the check the first few dates is someone I don't see again.

    But after I wiggle through the restaurant door, waddle to my seat, break that and get a bench, order an appetizer of 6 dozen fried mozzarella sticks and triple-sweet iced tea, and pull my ice cream fork out of my panties, I make my point about going Dutch and the guy graciously accepts. It must be because I'm a charming and persuasive conversationalist.

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  5. A former coworker of mine told me a story about a guy he knew who did something similar to this. He would drive down to the bus stop in the 'hood, roll down his window, and ask a random girl where she was going/what she was doing. The girl would usually be pretty dismissive at first, but then he would flash a roll of money and say something like "oh, well, I'm going shopping... just wondered if maybe you wanted to come with me..." Then, allegedly, he would buy these ghetto chicks lingerie or something, and take them home for some ghetto-luvin...

    Me? I'd rather just use my boyish charms to manipulate the girls with daddy issues into bed...

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  6. Seriously, for what this guy spent, he could have gone to a bar, picked up some drunk chick, and spent under $50.00 in drinks to get laid. Or like someone else mentioned, an escort. It would be a heck of a lot cheaper.

    As for the OP...get a clue. In a situation like that, just leave.

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  7. I'm sure if Josh is reading this he is appreciating all the money saving tips offered. Me, even though I've both daddy issues and underwear full of dessert cutlery I have a strict rule of three, smaller than some but bigger than most, tv's before sex.

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  8. Wow op hate is kinda weird. What's wrong with being naive? I don't think I'd see that coming until he had gone to point of buying a tv. Lots of depends on the body language too.
    I had a friend in college, little off socially, he asked his date to help him buy a suit on a first date. As if she knew him already. She cut short the coffee date and he didn't understand what went wrong there.

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  9. Oh my point is sometimes people are just awkward and not malicious. Usually you can tell by body language.

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  10. Steve, I have major Daddy issues. Just letting you know. ;) Fizziks, awsome as usual. My favorite comment from Trynfly: I have a strict rule of three, smaller than some but bigger than most, tv's before sex. (Which means I'm one of the only ones who is not clever in this bunch).

    And the story. The guy is a total assholio. I think we can all agree on that one. I probably would have been naive as well. OP did at least say "no, no, no" in the end, so I'm proud of her for that.

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  11. Everyone is missing the point. The guy's plan was flawless. Buy a $300 tv and get laid, if she refuses return the tv later and get your money back. Cheaper than a hooker, and if it works and she sticks around you get the next few for free.

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  12. That's exactly what I thought too! The return policies in some of these stores are ridiculous.

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  13. Even better, if it works, once you're done, just pack the TV back up and return it on your way out of her house.

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  14. I had a similar incident happen after a guy insisted on paying for dinner. I even asked him if he was sure after offering to pay my half. Once in the parking lot he walked me to his car and pressed his boner up against me and actually said "NOW it's time for you to pay for your half of dinner." I told him no and he would NOT back off. I tazed him and he shit himself in the parking lot so that made it worth it. I went back in the restaurant and told them to call the police and left him there unconscious in his own dook. The guy from the restaurant who walked me to my car took a picture of him. :D

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