4/05/2013

You Start Me Up, I'll Never Stop

Story Sent in by Claire:

One of my very first dates, way back in high school, was with Roger. He said he'd take me out to dinner, but ended up asking me to chip in when the check came. Being a bit naive, I guessed that that was the way things were done, and I didn't put up a fuss.

What I did have a problem with, though, came after. I was in his car, and he was dropping me back off at home. As he drove down my block, he unlocked his doors and said, "Get ready to jump."

A flutter in my stomach. "Jump?"

He said, "Yeah. Braking and accelerating are bad for my car, so I'll go really slow, but you'll have to leave while the car's moving."

"...I'm not doing that."

"You'll have to. It takes gas to accelerate the car, and gas costs money."

"How much does it cost to accelerate from a stop?"

He thought for a moment, then said, "I don't know. Two dollars, maybe. If you give me the money, I'll stop."

My turn to think. I said, "Are you saying I'm not worth stopping for?"

He said, "Don't take it personally. Get ready to jump."

Thinking even faster, I said, "If you don't stop, how am I supposed to kiss you goodnight?"

He stopped. Instead of kissing him, I jumped out while the car was stationary. Before I could even close the door, he realized what I was doing and floored it away.

I told all my friends that he nearly ran me over, and school for him was awkward, after that.

6 comments:

  1. He is an idiot but why not tell everybody the truth. Far more interesting story. Then other young ladies will run away from this cheap bastard.

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  2. He's right, ya know. Think about all the pollutants put into the air by people stopping their cars to let their dates out, and then accellerating them afterwards. Once you scale it up on a global level, the figures become astronomical!

    This dude was just trying to reduce his carbon footprint, and a REAL woman would have supported him in that!

    ReplyDelete
  3. way to go op that putting your smarts to good use. ah hahahahahahah he never have his first kiss in high school.

    ReplyDelete
  4. And he grew up to become CEO of Exxon / BP / (your favorite).

    ReplyDelete
  5. Tuck and roll Claire, tuck and roll!

    ReplyDelete

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