4/11/2013

There Won't Be Blood

Story Sent in by Vanessa:

Thomas and I met at a business technology convention, and it turned out that we didn't live too far away from each other (just over an hour, by car). We remained in touch, and it ultimately led to a date, then another, and another. He was a bit serious, but full of exciting ideas for things to do, and I had a good time with him.

Imagine my surprise when one day, I found a handwritten letter from him in my mail. It was a simple, short, thoughtful note, written in red ink. I called him that evening to thank him for the gesture.

"I'm glad you liked it," he said, "I wrote it in blood."

I didn't say anything for quite a while, as my emotions went from shock to fear back to shock to confusion and once again to shock. He was content to wait patiently over the silence. I finally stammered out, "Why blood?"

"It's the original ink," he said, "Things have been written in it hundreds of years ago that you can still read, today."

"Is it... your blood?"

He laughed. "No, no, no, no. Would you have preferred that?"

"No! I... I guess it depends on whose you... used..."

"It's not from a person. Don't worry. Nothing died for it that wasn't already dead."

Suddenly, my wits returned to me. I half-shouted, "You seriously sent me something written in blood? Do you have any idea how messed up that is?"

"I thought it was romantic. The poets of old–"

"You're not a poet of old!"

That shut him up for a good few seconds. Then, he said, "I'd consider it the biggest compliment in the world if you wrote me something in blood."

"A positive affirmation isn't preferable to a bodily fluid?"

"If the positive affirmation was written in the bodily fluid, and not just any bodily fluid, but blood–"

"Thomas, I have to think about... I have to go and... I'll call you. Bye." I hung up, which maybe was too abrupt on my part, but I couldn't really take the fact that he had written me a letter in the blood of something. I never ended up calling him back, and he never called me. I feel a bit bad about how things ended, but I'm just not the kind of person to fall all over a guy for such a gesture, whether or not the poets of old did it.

19 comments:

  1. Women just don't dig romantic gestures anymore... sigh...

    A Bride of Chunky Horse, this lady is NOT.

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  2. Red blood is fresh blood. This should have been brown and was therefore obviously fake. Weird guy, sure, but you were pretty weird to freak out so badly over what was probably a joke.

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  3. Can blood, used as ink, actually last on paper for hundreds of years? I'm sure it would also depend on the paper used, but I'd think that it would deteriorate away after not-too-long a while. One of you must be able to confirm/refute this.

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  4. Chunky Horse's blood would eat right through any kind of paper. So no, it wouldn't last hundreds of years.

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  5. It reminds me of the way Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob Thorton acted. That's just like stalker weird. I don't blame you for not communicating with him again.

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  6. There goes my etsy business of repackaging my tampons as quills. Sigh.

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  7. I can just see him, poor crazy Thomas, crouched over some recent road-kill and squeezing its broken little body over his ink well until the tiny little eyes popped right out of it's furry tire marked skull.

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  8. @Architect - sooooooo romantic! /swoon

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  9. I'm an archivist, and I'm here to help:

    http://awesomearchives.tumblr.com/post/47626548449/eadfrith-blood-stains-from-the-slaine-monks-of

    Vikings came, killed a bunch of monks. The blood has lasted for 1220 years. Pics at the link.

    But this guy sent her a health code violation. Gross.

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  10. That's hawt, Amanda... I love bookworms. Please allow me the honor of adding you to my burgeoning ABCOTD harem...

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  11. eww, that is so gross, taking blood from something

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  12. @ Blue Blue - Agreed! Phlebotomists disgust me!

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  13. but didn't you just say you can see him taking blood from some type of road kill? but yeah gross.

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  14. Chunky Horse ain't no poet... but He sure sprays blood everywhere...

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  15. "But this guy sent her a health code violation. Gross."

    That was my first thought, too. Yuck!!!

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  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  17. @Fizziks, I think I saw tampon quills from Etsy on Regretsy a couple of years ago. Somebody was a trend setter ;)

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