3/03/2013

Wax Off

Story Sent in by Cindy:

Daniel held the door open for me when we arrived at the Pizzeria Uno's, and I was sure to thank him. When we sat down, he asked me, "Are you into gender fairness?"

I replied, "I sure am."

He said, "Since I opened the door for you, it's your turn to do something nice for me."

I was game. "What do you want?"

He said, "You can pay for dinner."

I laughed. "How about we split dinner?"

He laughed, too. "So much for gender fairness!"

I replied, "I hardly think that opening a door equals paying for dinner."

He said, "But if we split dinner, then I'll still have done one more nice thing for you than you've done for me. It's unfair."

I was growing tired of the conversation, so I thought I'd bring it to a hasty close with, "I'll figure something out for you. Don't worry."

He said, "Oh, I've figured something out. It involves us and... I don't know. Some hot candle wax."

I laughed again, but this time, he didn't laugh back. He stayed really quiet for the rest of our time, together. In retrospect, it was stupid for me to stay through dinner (which we did indeed split), as it was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life.

7 comments:

  1. He's right, ya know. OP was a cheapskate.

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  2. This is a warning for all you guys out there - don't ever hold a door open or be polite to Daniel unless you want him to pour hot candle wax all over you and bang you.

    And really? Hot candle wax? Are people really still taking their sexual cues from 9 1/2 Weeks?

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  3. ^ I don't think banging her was his plan. If he wanted real gender fairness, it was time for her to break out the strap-on and go to work on him.

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  4. Mad props to OP! Being subjected to intense douchebaggery can cause one's common sense to abandon them, but other than needlessly prolonging the "date" Cindy wasn't affected.

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  5. I hold the door open to others regardless of "gender" and that's what I would have said to shut him the fuck up.

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  6. @Koukita merzian: Exactly! Holding the door for the person right behind you is just being polite.

    Doing something for someone just so that they'll "owe" you is a BS move.

    ReplyDelete

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