3/11/2013

Rope-a-Dope-Dope

Story Sent in by Stacey:

I actually met Jerry while furniture shopping for my very first post-college apartment. He was a little bit older than I, and we happened to be looking at the same display at the same time. We talked for a little bit, then parted, but when we encountered each other once more in the same store, he got a bit bolder and asked for my number.

First date was dinner and a walk. At dinner, I learned that he worked in fabrics (although exactly what he did is something I've since forgotten) and really loved to hear himself talk. He didn't seem all that interested in hearing anyone else talk, at least.

We happened upon an immense playground during our stroll, and, being the adult children that we were, climbed around, swung, and slid.

Jerry's attention, though, fastened onto two very tall ropes: one was red, the other blue. I asked him, "Can you climb?"

He said, "Yeah, of course."

With that, I grabbed the red rope, and even though I was in a long skirt, I climbed. He grabbed the blue one and shimmied up.

I made it to the top, first, and looked down. He was a little above the midpoint of his rope, and his climbing had slowed. "Can you make it to the top?" I called down to him.

He said, "Yeah! Of course!" but he went pretty slow. Then slower. Then slower.

My arms were aching, so I made my way down, passing him. When I made it back to the ground, I said, up to him, "You can come down whenever you want."

"No! I'm going to the top."

It took him, honestly, about another 10 minutes to make it three feet further up. I felt bad, because I didn't want him to feel forced to do it, just because I did. But I guess that's how he felt. When he touched the top chain, I applauded.

He returned to the ground and said to me, "You're good at that. I couldn't even see up your skirt or anything."

I did an uncomfortable half-laugh and asked, "You were looking?"

He said, "Well, yeah. Is that a problem?"

My look must have indicated to him that in fact yes, it was rude, disrespectful, and indeed a problem. He tried to cover quick with, "It-it's my job, you know, fabrics, and, you know, just, like for research–"

I laughed it off and said, "Okay, Jerry. Let's call it a night."

He got mopey but agreed, and I hurried away before he could try for a kiss or anything else.

In a subsequent email to me, he wrote something like, "I just can't see myself with a girl who climbs ropes." I have no idea what that had to do with anything.

5 comments:

  1. I can't tell you how many girls I've had to dismiss because they climbed ropes. It's a thing...

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  2. I don't get dudes who tell women they're doing skeevy things and then get bummed out when a woman doesn't react positively to the information. Despite what porn and Letters to Penthouse tells you, most women aren't going to get hot and squishy and decide to put out right then and there when you tell them you're trying to peek at their panties.

    Jerry does have a valid point though. Everyone knows women who can climb ropes are overly athletic closet lesbians. Jerry saw the handwriting on the wall and decided to avoid heartache.

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  3. I would think a woman that knew how to handle a rope would be a good thing.

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  4. HAHAHAHA, this guy was a pervert and with such a big ego he couldn't stand that his date out performed him. He's even lucky the OP had anything to do with him after the skirt incident. I would have just told him right then and there he could walk.

    ReplyDelete
  5. @ Steve, this is good news for me, because I suck at climbing ropes. I thought that there was going to be a significance to one rope being red and the other being blue.

    ReplyDelete

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