3/29/2013

One Way to Toss a Salad

Story Sent in by James:

I took Maria out to eat at a pretty nice place for date numero uno. She was chatty and friendly and liked to talk with her hands a lot. After our meals were served (mine with a side salad), she noticed a hangnail.

"Ew, a hangnail," she said, then peeled it off and flicked it across the table, where it landed right in my tasty salad.

I sat back in automatic revulsion. She gasped and said, "Oh my God, I'm sorry!" then reached into my dressing-tossed salad with her bare hand, grabbed the clump of leaves into which her nail had landed, stuffed it into her mouth, chewed, and ate it.

Yum.

In total honesty, I took her out on a second date, but I wasn't really feeling things, and the image of her sticking a hand in my salad and eating her nail proved to be... off-putting.

8 comments:

  1. That's unfortunate....and gross. I feel like she's not necessarily a bad person but lacks some personal hygiene. I wouldn't be attracted to that behavior either.

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  2. Good thing she didn't have a rusty spoon, eh Steve?

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  3. I think OP lost out here. If this girl went in hands first to stuff something a little gross in her mouth....Well, I'm just saying, she'd probably be willing to do her own car maintenance. Changing oil and break pads and stuff. That can really save a lot of money.

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  4. Chunky Horse likes 'torture porn' movies, but doesn't understand why they aren't G-rated.

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  5. I was all sympathetic for you, OP, until you said you went on a second date. Seriously? No sympathy for you!

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  6. If only she'd eaten your nail and you'd gotten to put your hand in her salad...

    ReplyDelete
  7. I see what you did there, Architect...

    ReplyDelete

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