2/13/2013

State of the Disunion

(Criticism of your writing makes perfect. Click to find out why on Jared's Inkwell. -JMG)


Story Sent in by Robert:

Nora and I had two of the same classes together, back in college, and we became pretty fast friends. Friendship turned to flirting which turned to me asking her out on a date for a Friday night. We planned to meet in front of the main admin building, then walk to dinner and then see where the night took us.

She was late in showing up, and when she did, she looked a mess: her hair was streaming out in every direction, half of her face was smeared in makeup, and she wore a four-sizes-too-large shirt with a picture of Mickey Mouse on it. If I didn't know better, I'd say that she had literally rolled out of bed mere seconds before. She looked confused to even be there.

I asked her if everything was all right. She responded by looking around and asking what she was doing there. She made no indication that she even recognized me.

Again, I asked her if she was okay, and she said she was, although she still was clearly disorientated. Taking her gently along a walkway, I walked her to the public safety office and explained that I had found her like that, wandering in the quad. They said they'd bring her back to her dorm, they took my information, and that was my night.

I called to check on her the next day, and I left a message.

The next time I saw her was in class, and she looked as if nothing at all had been amiss. I asked her if she was well, and if she remembered anything from the past Friday night.

She replied, "I must've had a good weekend. I don't remember anything!"

She wasn't forthcoming on what had been going on, so I didn't press her any further. I was hesitant to ask her out again, but she beat me to the punch, in any event. There was a film screening at the school that upcoming Thursday, and she asked me if I wanted to go out to dinner with her, beforehand. We made it a date. She said she'd meet me inside the college chapel, which struck me as strange at the time, but it was centrally located, after all.

When I made it inside the chapel that Thursday, I found her crying in a rear pew. She had that Mickey Mouse shirt with her again, but she wasn't wearing it. She was drying her eyes with it, and she told me that she didn't want to end up married to me.

I told her that I wasn't looking for marriage: I just wanted dinner and a movie. She bawled, replying that all men wanted marriage.

I left her there and ended up going to the movie, alone. In our classes, forever afterward, she barely acknowledged my existence.

16 comments:

  1. Thank you for doing the appropriate thing and taking her to the campus safety office. I was afraid this story (like so many on this site) was going to include "So she stood there, looking confused and disoriented. I left to get a hamburger and never saw her again."

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  2. It could be that she was from some religious or social background where dating someone meant marriage (sex). And the mickey mouse tshirt was some comfort object to her.

    Or she was just a looney bin. Either way you dodged a bullet.

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  3. It's like she drank a whole bottle of cough syrup before each of your "dates". Maybe after the date was scheduled, she went home, sat on her trash covered bed and just obsessed over how the date would go. Then, 3 days later, still in her Micky Mouse jammies, she'd show up for the date completely out of her mind from lack of sleep and drugged up on prescription meds. God I miss college!

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  4. You know who isn't looking for marriage? Chunky Horse. He has no need for that constrictive social institution...

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    Replies
    1. Chunky Horse isn't looking for it now but just wait til he hits 30. His mind will start turning and then he'll start worrying about dying alone in the forest which will lead to a furious search for a mate so he can procreate and the Chunky Horse legend can live on. And no, Chunky Horse does not believe in having colts and fillies out of wedlock so that isn't an option.

      Delete
    2. Chunky Horse is married to his work people. Those screaming teenagers aren't gonna chainsaw themselves you know.

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    3. Universal Studios presents Chunky Horse 5: The Bride of Chunky Horse.

      Delete
  5. I hate being bi-polar! It's Awesome!

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  6. What possible drug makes you think that the one thing that every man wants, that's always on his mind is......marriage?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Every girl knows that all guys really just want BJ's...
      "Less lip and more head, woman!!"

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    2. Wait, all guys want Bruce Jenner?

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  7. wait a minute if she disoriented during your dates with her I wonder what would happen to other guys who try to date her... hmmm

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  8. In what universe do all men want marriage?

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    Replies
    1. in the one where they can have as many wives as they desire.

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    2. Yeah, that sounds like hell to most men who put up with one wife already ;-)

      Delete

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