2/06/2013

Romance Isn't Dead. It's Just Stuck in Line.

Story Sent in by Candace:

Tom approached me out of the blue in a bookstore coffee shop and said, "I'm sorry. I never do this, but I think you're beautiful. I would've regretted not telling you."

I was floored. I half-expected him to turn and walk away, but when he kept standing there, I had to respond... though I was so taken aback, that I didn't know what to say. I thanked him and introduced myself. I was honestly so surprised that I can barely recall what we talked about, but although we ended the short conversation with the exchange of numbers and the promise that he'd call me for a date.

We went out on our first date to dinner and then to a local author talk at another nearby bookshop. Afterward, people lined up to briefly meet the author or obtain an autographed book. While we were in line to meet the writer, Tom glanced behind us at a slightly older woman. He did it twice more, which struck me as strange.

Then, the final time, he looked and said to her, "I'm sorry. I never do this, but I think you're beautiful. I would've regretted not telling you."

The woman smiled, but I said, "Hey," to Tom, which wiped the smile off of her face.

Tom looked from her to me, said, "I'm sorry. I cannot choose," and broke out from the line and fast-walked toward the exit.

The woman and I shared a look, and I said to her, "I can. Won't be seeing him again," and I turned back in the line.

I have no idea what was going through poor Tom's head, but I can't imagine that he thought our date would end well, after that.

18 comments:

  1. I'm sorry, I never do this...except like once a week. And only then to the most beautiful woman in the room...or the one that is geographically closest to me. So you should really feel flattered.

    What a toolbag.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Lawlz, OP lost out to the cougar...

    ReplyDelete
  3. The "I'm sorry. I cannot choose" is a classic! I'll have to remember that next time I get caught same-date flirting with someone's brother...and sister...and boss....and cable repairman...and cat.

    Dating/sex is strictly a numbers game, and there are some dudes that really use this to their advantage. There was a guy in my undergrad dept that never should have been able to have the sheer amount of sex he did with the caliber of women he got (in addition being upfront about being married, he was also missing about half his teeth). But he knew that even if he'd only bag 1-in-100, he'd just have to proposition 500 women to get the action he wanted that month.

    The takeaway: every woman that falls for this shaz -- like you, Candace -- helps ensure that 99 other woman have a creepy guy hit on them. You've shown them it pays off.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your cold, brutal logic makes me feel all warm and tingly inside :-D

      Delete
    2. Dating is a numbers game but damn! You shouldn't try to play two numbers at the same time. Unless you're a multi-millionaire a la Hugh Hefner, trying to start a harem probably isn't going to fly.

      I kinda think Tom was hoping that by not making a choice, the two women would make a choice for him and choose a three way. Letters to Penthouse and porn have totally screwed up some men's reality.

      Delete
    3. "You've shown them it pays off."

      I hate to admit that I mentally shouted "NO!" when she thanked him for just this reason. At least Candace knows better now. I have no idea what Tom was thinking by using the line again right in front of her.

      Ladies: You deserve a guy who talks to you like you are a human being, not a target.

      Delete
    4. Reminds me of a line from 'Rules of Attraction':
      "If you stand on a street corner of any major European city and consecutively ask every girl you see if she’ll **** you, one out of twenty will say yes. It’s a confirmed statistic."

      Just goes to show what happens when you take romance tips from Brett Easton Ellis.

      Delete
  4. "I'm not sorry. I always do this, and I think you're gullible. I would regret not taking advantage of you."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I can't believe anyone over the age of 10 still believes that "I never do this" shit. If someone says that, best believe they do whatever it is they say they don't do on the regular.

      Delete
    2. I'm sorry. I never do this, but I think you're hot. I would've regretted not telling you, Steve.

      Delete
    3. Hey...you're not the only Book in town tanette13!

      There are plenty, well...a couple, of girls who Howie gets wet! ~ Which is good cuz when we read in bed together, I dont have to lick my fingers to turn the pages...IF you know what I mean!!

      Delete
    4. I am grateful for all the tears of laughter that you give me, Steve, I mean Howie. dangit. No, but really. Thank you.

      Delete
  5. He judges books by their cover.
    Initially you caught his eye and seemed like an interesting read but you clearly had very little plot and he lost interest over dinner....So, he browsed the 'Thriller" section, where the new cover over the older woman caught his eye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm sorry. I never do this, but I think you're hot. I would've regretted not telling you, Steve, I mean, Howie.

      Delete
    2. Hey...you're not the only Book in town tanette13!

      There are plenty, well...a couple, of girls who Howie gets wet! ~ Which is good cuz when we read in bed together, I dont have to lick my fingers to turn the pages...IF you know what I mean!!

      Delete
  6. op, i hope you blocked his number after that or delete it, or even go to the cell phone company store and change your number so he can never contact you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Honestly, had he actually walked away, I would have been more.inclined to think he was genuine. I did actually have that happen once. I was.on the bus on my to work, and some guy was about to leave. As he reached the front, he turned to me and said, "Just thought you should know, you're BEAUTIFUL." And then he left, and that was that. So I figure he was drunk, sincere, or trying to get me to follow him. But a guy that just stands there and waits for you to respond? It's a line sweetheart.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ain't I a stinker? night y'all.

    ReplyDelete

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