Story Sent in by Jake:
I have a gluten allergy. On the scale of one to 10, I'd rate it a solid seven. It gives me bad gastrointestinal issues that you'd be much happier not knowing.
Tamara and I spoke online for a few weeks before meeting in person. When we were discussing where to meet for our first date, I told her that I was gluten-free, although I could almost always find something to eat anywhere. She said she'd keep it in mind, and we ended up picking a cafe that was one of my own recommendations, a place that made its own gluten-free wraps.
To my surprise, when Tamara appeared, she carried with her a plastic container with nine cranberry muffins that she said she had made for me.
I was taken aback and really grateful, but I had to ask, "Are they gluten-free?"
"Yep!" was her instant answer. How sweet!
After lunch, we took a walk and had an impromptu picnic in a nearby park, where we split one of her muffins. It was really, really good. I asked her what she had used for the ingredients.
"Oh, flour, sugar, milk, eggs–"
"What kind of flour?"
I asked, a bit more seriously, "What kind of flour?"
"I don't know. Regular flour."
A slight panic overtook me. You have to understand, I was and still am not a fan of the sorts of cramps that were unstoppably on their way. I said to her, "I told you I was gluten-free! You said these muffins didn't have gluten!"
"They don't. I didn't use gluten. I told you: flour, sugar, milk, eggs–"
"Flour has gluten in it!"
Her eyes went wide and she said, "I didn't know. You never told me that."
I gave a tremendous sigh and informed her that I'd likely be suffering from debilitating cramps within a half-hour or so. She said, "Well, that isn't my fault. You never told me you couldn't eat flour. Just gluten."
She didn't apologize or seem to care one bit for my soon-to-be-plight. I ended the date pretty quickly, and as predicted, the cramps hit hard, but likely not as bad as they would've been if I had eaten more than half of a muffin.
I didn't write to her after that for a day or two, but before I could, she wrote me, "You forgot your muffins. Maybe I can bring them to you?"
I declined the offer. Dating Tamara was hazardous to my health.
Story Sent in by Jake: