2/23/2013

Armed and Ready

Story Sent in by Mallory:

Jerry was handsome. At least, according to his profile photos. In one of his first messages to me, he said, "I should probably tell you that my left arm is significantly shorter than my right. It's like a t-rex arm."

I didn't have a problem with that, and I wrote back that I thought it was okay. Besides, I couldn't really make any kind of decision about him until we met in person.

When we did, he gave me a hug, and to be absolutely honest, I didn't notice a difference between his arms, at first. He was dressed up, with a tie, and looked good.

When we sat down to dinner, though, I noticed that one of his arms was a bit shorter... but it was his right one. Not his left one, as he had written.

I didn't mention anything about it, and we had a good first five minutes. Then, he brought it up: "So, my arm thing isn't a turn-off?"

I joked, "Well, in your message to me, you said it was your left arm that was shorter. Now that I see it's actually your right arm, I don't know..."

He looked at his right arm, then his left, then his right, then his left, then at me. He said, "I wrote you that my left arm was shorter?"

I said, "Yeah, but it doesn't matter. I don't care, either way."

He stood up, said, "My life is a lie!" and he left. I followed him out immediately, but by the way he was tearing down the sidewalk, he clearly didn't want to be followed. It was so unexpected and I was so blown away that I almost wanted to cry. Instead, I called up some friends and hung out with them for the rest of the night. As for Jerry, I haven't heard from him, since.

5 comments:

  1. Bizarre. At first I assumed he was just trying to get out of the date and made a lame scene. But then I realized he'd have had to start working on his excuse earlier, when he gave you the wrong information over email.... So I have no idea. Weird.

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  2. "...I was so blown away that I almost wanted to cry! Then I remembered I didn't give a shit that I had destroyed this poor freak's only shred of self confidence and went off to get drunk with my girlfriends! Woo hoo!"

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  3. All of these stories are fake.

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    Replies
    1. This is the third time you've said this in two posts. We get it. Now move on. Because right now your comments are as useless as a passed out sorority slut on her period.

      Delete

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