1/24/2013

There's Someone You Can Call for That?

Story Sent in by Lori:

Bruce dropped me a line over PlentyofFish. He had left his career as a marine biologist to join a band. Apparently, this big college radio station once used one of his band's songs as transition music, and that's about as far as they made it. When I asked him to send me some of his songs, all he sent over was a five-second clip.

Bruce promised me a night of fun, but when he finally sauntered over to meet me at an outdoor cafe (he was 20 minutes late), he asked me if I'd go with him to a tattoo parlor nearby to hold his hand while he had his teeth filed into points. He said that afterward, he'd take me out to anywhere I wanted.

When we got to the tattoo parlor, the artist told us that, surprise surprise, filing teeth into points wasn't one of the services that she provided. Bruce asked her if she knew of anyone who did, and she said that she could make a phone call.

Somehow I convinced Bruce to leave the tattoo parlor with me, and we went out to dinner. He was nice enough to pay, but for most of the time, he wondered aloud about whether or not he should've taken the tattoo girl up on her offer.

It was our only date (he was too weird for me) and I never found out if he ever had his teeth filed down.

7 comments:

  1. "When we got to the tattoo parlor" should've possibly read something else, but I can't put my finger on it...

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    1. I think it should have gone something like: "Obviously Bruce was a fucking weirdo with aspirations of cannibalism in his head. I decided I didn't want to end up as a murder victim made into a meatloaf and I damn sure didn't want to hear his shitty band demo tape so I called it a night."

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  2. Two vampire wannabe guys in a row? This strengthens my position that those horrible vampire shows are destroying an entire generation.

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  3. After he said he wanted to go file his teeth into points, you still continued the date? But then, at the end, he was "too weird" for you? What was the tip off? Did he do something even more bizarre at dinner?

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  4. Not to diss bands or musicians but anyone who leaves a stable career (such as a marine biologist) to join a band seems kind of off to me. Let's be practical - if he was truly interested in being a successful musician, maybe he should pursue it while working a job to support himself. His band doesn't sound accomplished enough to pay the rent. Really? Transition music? The guy sounds like a loser.

    Much like the previous commenters, I'm also surprised that you actually went with him after he stated that he wanted his teeth filed (you sound rather desperate) but reading this, I thought "well I doubt tattoo parlors do that anyway so maybe she just wanted to see what would happen," but still... Why would you even waste the time...? And wow. You even went out to dinner with him after that. He must have paid for everything.

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  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

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