1/16/2013

Sounds Like a Middle Manager

Story Sent in by Maribel:

Mark's first big mistake on our first date was to down half a bottle of beer in under 10 seconds and ask, "You're the singer, right?"

I replied, "Uh, like in the shower and in my car, when no one's around. Otherwise, no."

He gave me a weird look and said, "You're not the singer? Must've been someone else, then. You're the... vet?"

"Vet? As in veteran or veterinarian?"

"Either."

"No."

He shook his head and shrugged. "Refresh my memory, then: which one are you?"

I replied, "Maribel. Waitress and part-time student. Studying business, making pottery..."

He frowned. I said, "Not ringing a bell? Seriously? We've been talking online for over two weeks."

He retreated into his menu. "No, I remember talking to you. Yeah, it's all coming back to me, now. Anyway, this place has great burgers."

"I'm a vegetarian, Mark. I told you that."

He repeated, "This place has great burgers," and we didn't talk again for a little bit, as we looked over the menus.

He spent the rest of dinner talking mostly about himself, how awesome he was at his technical support job, how he was in line for a huge raise, and on and on. He didn't ask me a thing about myself, and seemed to forget I was even there, sometimes.

The real crazy part came on our second date. At first, over email, he asked me if I wanted to go to the same restaurant we had gone to for our first date. I told him that I preferred to vary things up, and so we wound up having dinner at a pub not far from that first place.

He was already there when I arrived, and when I sat across from him, the first words out of his mouth were, "You sing, right?"

I stared at him like he had just breathed fire. "You're joking. Really? You're asking me if I sing? Again?"

"So you... do? Am I confusing you for someone else?"

Dinner was a hurried affair. He spent most of it telling me how he was going to be promoted and score a huge raise, sometime soon. Despite that, I didn't contact him after the second date, and he never reached out to me again. Poor guy probably forgot I existed a minute after we parted ways.

17 comments:

  1. "The real crazy part came on our second date."

    YES OBVIOUSLY.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey! A free dinner is a free dinner!

      I'm sure if "and he never contacted me again" wasn't in there we would have been reading about their 3rd date.

      Delete
    2. There is a name for this, but I do not WANT to insult the OP

      Delete
    3. Allow me... Dinner Whore/Trashslut!

      Yet again, I pray for Chunky Horse to trot in and mule-kick some sense into people...

      Delete
  2. "The real crazy part came on our second date."
    ...
    .....I'm going back to bed.








    ReplyDelete
  3. *I put my nose in the air and sniff*

    Do I detect the faint scent of Trashwhore in the air?

    ReplyDelete
  4. JMG - you need to start Trashslut.com where you can filter all your stories from OPs with tragic, self-inflicted bad date stories such as these.

    Be sure to add a side menu with self-help links and resources...

    ReplyDelete
  5. She must be pretty desperate to even think about a second date, nevertheless to actually meet. Oh God! What is wrong with people today?!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Seriously. Someone needs to tell these people about that thing the rest of us call "masturbation". It would spare them so much humiliation.

      Delete
  6. Man op, if he had ask me that again on a second date I would have been like im out of here. ALthough i am curious to how he would get a raise if he can't even remember his dates? hmm interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  7. This girl's self worth is just like my toilet after eating at Panda Express- obliterated.

    Are you really so fat that you need to go on shitty dates just to get free food?!
    And talking with you must be as exciting as talking with Hellen Keller, because you sure don't seem memorable at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why do you have such a hang up on fat people? Do you really think that men aren't attracted to plus-sized women? They are. Do you really think a person can't be confident if she has some extra meat on her bones? We can.

      Delete
    2. Do you really think anything said on a humor website such as this should be taken so seriously? It shouldn't.

      Also, answers to your questions= no.

      Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go light some candles, put on some sexy music, and gently touch myself to thoughts of anorexic skeletons.

      Mmmm...that's the good stuff

      Delete
    3. I'm a sensitive gal, I suppose. But thank you very much for replying to my questions. I appreciate it. Have a good night.

      Delete
  8. "The real crazy part came on our second date."

    She conveniently left out the part where she went back to his trailer and they had sex on a pile of garbage.

    But seriously, between that story and this one, I'm starting to think my own self-esteem is pretty healthy after all, because a guy who acted like he had no clue who I was on the first date wouldn't get a second one. And I'm saying this as one of those so-called "desperate" people who hasn't dated in far longer than I care to admit.

    ReplyDelete
  9. OP lost some of my sympathy when she actually stayed for dinner with this guy. She lost it all when she went one a second date and again stayed to eat with this unappealing guy!

    ReplyDelete

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