1/20/2013

Positively Primeval

Story Sent in by Natalie:

Devan emailed me on a personals site. Out of the 50 or so messages I received a week, he seemed (at the time) the most literate and attractive, so I thought that I'd have nothing to lose by hanging out with him.

The moment we first met, he looked me up and down and checked around the ground, like he was looking for something I had forgotten to bring. He said, "You don't have a kid?"

"No. I think I'd know it by now if I did."

He said, "I figured all women your age had at least one. If you don't, it's no big deal."

I asked him, "Did you bring your ex-wife?"

"I don't have an ex-wife."

I said, "Oh. I thought all men of your age had at least one."

That caught him off-guard, but we made it to dinner with no babies or ex-wives in tow. He turned out to be a lousy match for me. When I asked him what the last book that he had read was, he said, "I don't remember. Something in high school."

We didn't share too much after that, but he did ask, "You read a lot?"

I said, "Yeah."

He replied, "No wonder you don't have kids."

I said, "If that's your attitude, no wonder you don't get any."

"I get some."

"Can we get the check?"

Surprisingly, he picked up the check. I thanked him.

Only date.

18 comments:

  1. hahahahah that is a good one op about the ex-wife!

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  2. Wow, this was fucking boring.

    Much like when I was having sex with your mom last night, I lost interest half way through.

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    Replies
    1. I'm warming up to you Saggy. I like this comment here. Cheers.

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    2. I knew I could eventually sweet talk you ;) No one can resist a good mom joke...or midget porn bukkake.

      Delete
  3. I hate to be a cynic and paranoid, but I wonder if he was hoping the OP had a child because he's a pedophile.

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    Replies
    1. That oddly crossed my mind too! Probably because its pretty rare to see a single man want a kid around :/....

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    2. Yeah, I was thinking that too. The red "Uncle Creepy" flag went up. Drunken Housewife, I think if you spend any time on this site, it's almost impossible NOT to be cynical or paranoid.

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  4. When I was in AmeriCorps at the age of twenty three, the kids used to ask me how many kids I had, not whether or not I had any. And they were beyond surprised that I didn't have any.

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  5. This is just a bad date. The guy is obviously socially inept but the OP didn't need to start calling him out on his lack of it. And I like the "I read therefore I am superior attitude." It depends on what you read-if its Stephanie Plum novels or the latest vampire romance, then I'm sorry, thats just junk reading.

    Happy 2nd term President Obama!

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    Replies
    1. He was being rude and I don't think it's "superior" of her to ask if he's read anything recently.

      I like how him assuming she's had kids is OK but asking if he's read anything interesting is offensive instead of just normal small talk.

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  6. This wasn't terribly bad - you guys just aren't a good match. That was nice of him to pick up the tab though.

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  7. She gets 50 or so messages a week? Is that normal?

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    Replies
    1. I get loads of junk/spam email. It's not a stretch to think the same thing happens on dating sites.

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  8. Instantly dislike at " Out of the 50 or so messages I received a week", which sadly was at the very beginning.

    The only reason for putting that was to show us how awesome she is. Oh, and check out her fast wit.... sooo smart. Plus I bet she just finished her favorite Stephenie Meyer's book in under 2 days, what an amazing intelligent woman.

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  9. Instantly dislike at " Out of the 50 or so messages I received a week", which sadly was at the very beginning.

    The only reason for putting that was to show us how awesome she is. Oh, and check out her fast wit.... sooo smart. Plus I bet she just finished her favorite Stephenie Meyer's book in under 2 days, what an amazing intelligent woman.

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  10. Got to be honest, I'm in the OP's camp on the whole reading thing. I really don't care what you read, as long as it does not have glossy pages covered in photos. I recently asked a couple of my cousins what they read and the response was "Facebook and Twitter". Just sad.

    Standard comments still apply:
    Guy was a douche, OP dodged a bullet, don't be a Trashslut, etc...

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    Replies
    1. I don't get the knee jerk reactions to her asking him about books. How is that not a normal question?

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  11. "Women your age" ahaha

    and, assuming that someone especially a woman, has kids, can make her feel like a huge elephant, cause how else would you guess that this or that girl has had kids without her saying anything? Last New year's Eve party a friend of my family asked me so u have kids? lol and I'm slim and always told that I look years younger (I'm 29)

    ReplyDelete

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