12/29/2012

Bronze. Silver. Heterochrome.

Story Sent in by Cynthia:

Curtis was a guy in college who always teased me because of my heterochromia iridis (the iris of one eye being a different color from the other one). I wrote him off as an idiot and left it at that. After my sophomore year, I hardly saw much more of him, anyway.

A little over five years later, I was out of a long-term relationship and I encountered Curtis by chance. He seemed to have mellowed out a lot and he suggested catching up over drinks. I believe his exact words were, "Let's do a date. I'll make all that nonsense up to you." We set the time and place there and then.

The evening of our date, while we were out together, he said, "I can see that you didn't get that problem fixed."

"Problem? What problem?"

"Heh. I can see. Get it? See? Ha!" He laughed himself silly.

I sighed. "Heterochromia isn't a 'problem,' Curtis. It's how I was born."

He said, "Ask a dead baby if being born dead isn't a problem!" He laughed so hard that he snorted out a glob of snot. He covered his nose with his arm and said, "Oh God!" then wiped his nose with his arm and then with a napkin. He looked at me with a glistening face and laughed a bit more.

I said, "You have snot all over the bottom of your face."

"Shut up," he said, "be right back." He left me at the bar, presumably, for the bathroom. I paid for my glass of wine and booked it out of there. He didn't have my number or really any of my contact info (we had arranged the date at our chance encounter) so luckily, I didn't hear from that loser again.

5 comments:

  1. Poor girl. This guy is a tool. Sadly, some guys think that having a sense of humor includes any kind of humor. They fail to realize that laughing at a girl isn't the same thing as laughing with a girl. (Go to any frat party to find examples).

    As for the OP, hold out for a man that will see your heterochromia as beautiful. Those guys are out there. You deserve someone who sees your uniqueness as the beautiful gift that it is.

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  2. OP learned a lesson - most douche bags from high school or college don't grow out of that douche bag phase. They just learn to mask it a little better to get along in the world.

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  3. All I could think of when I read this story is "She went on a date with Dennis Duffy from 30 Rock!" I just added the word "dummy" to the end of all of his sentences and the picture was complete. Sorry OP, sounds like you missed out on a winner!

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  4. I dated a girl in college that had 2 different color eyes. She was very sweet, and her eyes were kind of a turn on for me... she had this whole Kate Bosworth thing going on... So, in other words, I have only positive associations with heterocromia... this guy missed out!

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  5. Yesterday, my dog encountered a female dog with heterochromia, although at the time, he didn't know the proper term for it. He too insulted the other dog, baring his teeth and growling at her... So, in other words, my dog is as much of a tool as this guy.

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