11/21/2012

Don't Dream, It's Over

Story Sent in by Phyllis:

James called to tell me that he'd be late to our date because he overslept. Never mind that it was 6:30pm on a workday. I didn't make a stink about it, and so I went to meet him about an hour later, by a monument in the town's main square.

I arrived there first and waited. I saw him approach from across a street that was packed with moderately moving traffic (about 20-30mph). Without waiting for a walk signal, or even using a crosswalk, the instant he saw me, he ran across the street. Cars swerved, braked, and honked. Heedless, he bolted for me like he hadn't seen me in 20 years and gave me a back-crushing hug, lifting me off the ground by a few inches.

I wiggled out of his arms and asked him to put me down. He did, then said, "Sorry again I was late. I was dreaming about you and didn't want the dream to stop."

Uh... okay. I asked if he was ready for dinner.

"Yeah. Want to know what my dream was about?"

"You said it was about me. So, dinner?"

He said, "Yeah, but it was about something... raunchy. I might've taken your pants off in the dream. It was pretty awesome."

I reached into my purse and grabbed my phone and put it to my ear. "Hello?" I asked into it, "Oh my God! Okay. I'll be right there."

I put the phone down and said, "I have to go. My friend's having an emergency."

"I didn't hear it ring."

"It vibrated."

"Oh." He looked sad, then said, "Okay. Well, give me a call later on if you still want to do dinner."

"I will."

Oops. I didn't.

5 comments:

  1. God, what a freak! That totally just creeps me out. I mean, when I take a girl out for dinner and she fakes a phone call to get away from me because I'm acting just a tiny bit like a crazy pervert....What does a guy need to do to catch a break?

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  2. Give her credit for running at the first sign of creeper.

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  3. The guy might have had to stay at work late because he overslept and was late to work. Outside of that, however, behavior was intolerable. I'm glad to see SOMEONE FINALLY LEFT WHEN A RANDOM DATE STARTED ACTING WEIRD!!!!

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  4. OP, you are awesome. May you find true happiness in life.

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  5. I just assumed the guy didn't work a 9-5 shift. As for the creepy part? I figure this loser will learn to control his mouth diarrhea eventually...until then, run.

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