10/13/2012

The Doctor Is Out

Story Sent in by Lindsay:

On my first date with Steve, at a hotel restaurant, he asked me if I wanted to go back to his apartment to watch porn.

"No thanks," I said.

"But it's cold out," he replied, "What else is there to do?"

I said, "We're in New York City. There are museums and plays and classes and films, and all kinds of things."

He replied, "Yeah, but I wanna watch porn."

"Uh... I'm... I'm sorry."

He said, "Okay. I'll be right back. Wait here."

He left the table, I thought to go use the bathroom. But when he didn't return for 20 minutes, I became suspicious and called him.

He picked up and said, "What's up?"

"Is everything all right? It's been 20 minutes."

"Oh, yeah. Everything's fine. Why?"

"...because you're having dinner with me?"

"Yes!" he said, "Yeah, I am. But I'm heading home to grab something."

"You're going home? Don't you like, live 30 blocks away?"

"I'm just grabbing something. I said I'd be back."

I groaned. "What are you grabbing that's so important?"

He replied, "I'm going to watch porn. I'll be back before–"

"Are you serious?"

"Lindsey, I have a problem! I have... doctors, doctors have told me that I need to, I have a doctor, the doctor, my doctor, he's a doctor, my doctor–"

I had no idea what he was talking about, although he must've hit some sort of record for shoving the word "doctor" as often as he did, into the attempted sentence.

I hung up on him and asked for the check, paid it, and left. He called me once more, but I ignored it.

5 comments:

  1. http://oldjewstellingjokes.com/post/120088584

    ReplyDelete
  2. Jared, stop naming all these weird guys Steve!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry. You're just the first person I think of.

      Delete

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