10/15/2012

Red Dead Repulsion

Story Sent in by Kimberley:

Back in college, Kevin, a student from my huge computer science lecture class, asked me out. We had planned for something low-key: pizza and a walk and maybe a movie.

We met at a pizza parlor. I was in one of my favorite outfits. He showed up in a fire-engine-red bed sheet, which he wore wrapped around himself like a cloak.

"Why are you in a bed sheet?" I asked.

He said, "I don't know. Don't ask me to hug you, though. I'm not wearing anything under it."

As soon as we walked into the pizza shop, the guy behind the counter pointed to the door. "Not you again. Out." He was talking to Kevin.

Kevin shot back, "But I'm on a date, this time."

"Get out," the pizza guy said, "I mean it."

Kevin and I left the pizza place. I asked him, "What was that about?"

"Guy can't take a joke," Kevin muttered, "I wasn't hungry anyway."

"Well, I am."

"What is it with you women? It's always about you! Nyaaaah!" He flapped up his bed sheet, like the wings of a butterfly, and fully flashed me, right there on the sidewalk.

I cried out and turned away, but he ran off, leaving me all dressed up and with nowhere to go. I wasn't about to return to the pizza place, so I grabbed a sandwich from a food court on campus and spent the rest of the night alone, but at least not with a crazy person.

2 comments:

  1. Wow, this one kinda makes me angry. If some creepo did this to my sister/daughter/friend, I'd want to hunt him down and beat his ass - and I'm the calm non-violent type!

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Can you give us a description, ma'am?"
    "Well officer, it looked kind of like a penis, only much smaller."

    ReplyDelete

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