10/10/2012

Orange You Glad

Story Sent in by Walter:

Emily was really into comic books. I wasn't, but I was always up for learning more about other people's hobbies.

In our last conversation before our first date, I should've known that trouble was brewing. I asked her, "When you were a little girl, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

She replied, "I've always wanted to be a superhero. I still do."

My first guess was that she was kidding.

On our date, in a nice restaurant, the first beverage that she ordered was orange juice. "It's my power elixir," she explained, "I use it to fight crime." She drank it all down at once.

"That's like Popeye with the spinach," I suggested.

She didn't respond to that, but instead looked around for our waitress. "Where is she? I want another power elixir."

I was able to steer the conversation to more sane topics, but it was hard to capture the attention of a girl who kept ordering orange juice after orange juice, pounding them back, and repeatedly saying things like, "Ah, my power elixir!"

By the time our food arrived, Emily said, "Uh, I feel like I'm going to barf. I drank too much orange juice."

"Too much power elixir?" I asked.

She replied, "I think I can feel it working."

We ate dinner with no further superheroic references, but after dinner, she ordered even more orange juice, drank it down, then said, "I feel like I'm gonna blow!"

"Maybe you should stop drinking orange juice."

"Never!"

And so it went. I finally asked her if she was ready to go. The check arrived, and I saw that they charged us for each separate orange juice. I asked her help in paying for them, and she begrudgingly did.

When we stood up, I swear she turned a pretty freaky shade of pale green. She said, "Um, good night. Super pissing power!" and took off for the bathroom.

Lamest super power I'd ever heard of, but it ended the date, so I guess it worked out for me.

3 comments:

  1. What an idiot!!! I often wonder if people who act stupid on these dates aren't doing it on purpose to make the other person not interested. I mean come on, I have never had someone act plumb crazy on a date. Creepy but not crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Orange juice glad you found out she was loopy before you invested too much time in her.

    Should have glassed her, but that's just my pithy observation.

    ReplyDelete

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.