9/23/2012

"I've Never Seen Such a Small Nose"

Story Sent in by Kimberly:

George and I were having a decent first date dinner together. It came out that he was in his late twenties and still lived with his parents. Bit of a red flag, but it wasn't the dealbreaker. After a few moments of silence, though, he initiated his master plan.

"I cannot tell a lie," he said, "It's just like Pinocchio."

I asked him, "What is?"

"My dick," he replied, "I cannot tell a lie!" He smiled.

"Whoa!" I said, shifting back from him, "Too much information."

"Sorry," he said, "I never know how much is too much to share."

"On a first date? Anything about... private parts is usually off limits."

He glanced down at his lap, frowned, and breathed really quickly. "Oh no," he said, "Oh no, no, no..."

"What... er, do I want to know?"

He gave me a guilty look and said, "Look like 'ol Pinocchio's been telling lies... again."

I said, "All right," and when the waitress came back, I requested the check. I didn't want to spend a single minute longer with this guy.

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