7/17/2012

But They'll Never Take Our Dignity

Story Sent in by Laura:

William wrote me over a dating site, we talked for a week, and had enough in common to warrant a date.

He showed up wearing a tartan skirt, which I felt inclined to point out to him.

He said, "I'm proud of my heritage."

"You're Scottish?"

He said, "Half English, a quarter French, a quarter Russian."

He was gung-ho about dinner, so we went to a nearby cafe. The table at which we sat was iron and had a grated surface, so I was able to see through it to his legs, which he spread in a most unladylike way.

Catching my glance, he said, "This is like that scene in Indecent Proposal with Sharon Stone, remember?"

"You mean Basic Instinct?"

"Oh yeah."

"It's nothing like that, actually. Would you mind closing your legs?"

He spread them even wider. "I'm proud of my heritage," he repeated.

I ordered a salad, hurried through it, told him that I was needed at home, and handed him cash for my meal.

He pushed the money away. "No. A man of my clan pays for his lady."

I thanked him but rushed away, all the same.

13 comments:

  1. He should have answered differently and closed his legs if he was offending her, but Op's the douche on this date. So what if he wore his tartan? She had to point out what he was wearing to him? Even before he did something only slightly inappropriate? That's rude. She thought he was unladylike? wtf? He was a dude! And that's how dudes sit, even if they're at a see-through table. Plus, she didn't say she could see his junk, so she needs to lighten up. Op sounds like an uptight, immature, snobby bitch who should have just left if she was so upset by his tartan and thighs. Team William.

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  2. My interest would have jumped up about four notches if a guy showed up in a kilt. (Even better if it's not tartan but a nice utilitkilt. And he didn't have terrifying furry bear legs.) Of course, this guy probably would have lost those notches with what (few) details we got from the rest of the date, but hey, he would have at least gotten off to a good start.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Utilikilts are not kilts. They are skirts with daft pockets on them.

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    2. But they are some sexy skirts. :}

      And for the purposes of differentiating male and female apparel, I will call any male skirt a kilt, because there isn't another word for man's skirt. Which there should be (if Scots will get butthurt over it), because manskirts are sexy. (See above.)

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    3. Utilikilt-type kilts are kilts. They are constructed in the same wraparound way as traditional kilts; they just don't happen to be made of tartan wool.

      For the record, I have kilts, and I also have skirts that are not kilts -- that is, they're constructed differently, they're longer, and they're made (generally) of more lightweight fabric. There is a clear difference, and it's not just the gender of the wearer.

      Delete
  3. It's entirely possible he showed up in exactly what the OP said... a tartan skirt. A tartan skirt does not a kilt make. And a kilt does not a Scotsman make, either.

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    Replies
    1. And an Englishman does not a Scotsman make.

      Delete
  4. As a proud Scot, I would have loved a date with a man in formal kilt attire. My family sports them for our weddings. A Scotsman would not offend a lady and would respect his heritage. This guy was raised French any true Brit would never refer to himself as "English". As a whole Scots are very good to their women, I know many happily married Scots because they are a strong culture and don't feel the need to be an ass to impress anyone. Of course, every one has their assholes,but he was not one of ours. P.S. I do know what a true Scot wears under his kilt. LOL

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    Replies
    1. Actually many 'True Brits' that I know, including myself, refer to themselves as English.

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    2. "A Scotsman would not offend a lady"

      Haha. That amused me. Ever been to Glasgow?

      Delete
  5. The only part I don't get is how she was able to see through iron?

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    Replies
    1. the surface was grated, something like this http://images.hayneedle.com/mgen/master:DCA077.jpg a lot of restaurants with outdoor seating have tables like that,

      Delete
  6. Wow. Look, maybe this makes me old-fashioned, but if somebody is going to deviate that far from societal norms on a first date, either

    A) they are an attention whore and should be kicked to the curb,
    or
    B) they should inform their date of their style beforehand.

    Don't get me wrong, I'm totally not a "normal" guy, but I at least have the decency to pretend to be one in a public setting, out of respect for my dates if nothing else.

    ReplyDelete

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