Story Sent in by Jessie:

Edith and I had spoken online and on the phone for weeks. We had a great thing going. I couldn't wait to meet her. Our first date was a picnic in a park on a cloudless day. It was a little warm, but breezy, and everything, as far as I could tell, was pitch-perfect.

I stretched out a blanket and we both took out the containers filled with food that we had both cooked. Out came the plates, utensils, and wine, and we were off on what would have likely been the very best date of my life.

In the midst of the laughter, conversation, and smiles, I told her this joke: "Two guys were camping. They pitched their tent and went to bed. One of them woke suddenly in the middle of the night, looked up at the stars, and said, 'Look up. What do you see?'

"The second man looked up and said, 'So many beautiful stars.'

"The first man said, 'And?'

"The second man said, 'Millions of stars might mean thousands of planets, and thousands of planets might mean life on other worlds. It's mind-boggling to comprehend.'

"The first man said, 'Actually, idiot, it means that someone stole our tent.'"

She laughed so hard that she farted. It was as loud as a trumpet on Judgment Day, but lasted only a moment.

Her laughter stopped. She went rigid, then, without a word, she scooped up her containers and made off, toward her car.

Naturally, I ran after her in an effort to assure her that there was no offense taken. Reaching her, I said, "Hey, don't be embarrassed, it's okay–"

She shoved past me, even faster. She threw her containers into her car, stormed into the vehicle, and drove away. Never heard from her again after that.

Posted in: Stories,Written by a Guy