7/26/2012

A Wilting Glance

Story Sent in by Russell:

My first two dates with Natalie were good. We had done dinner, bowling, visited some vintage bookstores, and gone on a picnic. I liked her, so I asked her out a third time, for dinner and stargazing. I picked her up at her house around sunset. She opened her door with a smile, a smile that rapidly evaporated.

She said, "Okay, what gives? No flowers?"

"Flowers?"

"Yeah," she explained, "I usually get flowers on a first or second date. I figured you were just playing around or something, but it's our third date and you haven't brought me anything."

I must have taken too long to respond, because she appended her statement with, "You could be bringing me flowers right now, instead of wasting time."

She hadn't been like this before, and I was curious as to what was really the problem. I said, "I've been taking you out and we've been having a nice time together. I'm sure I would've brought you flowers eventually, but why do you want them so badly, today?"

She said, "I'm having some girlfriends over for dinner, and they need to see that you're on the level. I figured that you'd just be smart enough on your own to bring me flowers today, but if I have to tell you how to be a good man, then I can do that. Seriously. Bring me flowers."

She made as if to close the door, but I said, "You're having dinner with friends? We had plans."

She thought for a moment, then said, "You should've thought of that before deciding to not bring me flowers. I'll be waiting."

She closed the door, and that would have been the end of it, if not for an idea that popped into my head. Instead of going anywhere, I waited, there, on her front steps, for a while. I had my phone with me and was able to keep myself occupied until her friends arrived. At one point, a text arrived from Natalie: "Hurry."

It didn't take long. One showed up after an hour, and I kept her chatting until two more showed up shortly thereafter. I introduced myself and poured whatever little charm I had into the conversation.

As I guessed would happen, one of them said, "Should we go inside?" Indeed, yes. All four of us rang Natalie's doorbell. She answered it, saw me, and again, that smile vanished from her face.

If she said something nasty to me, then it would show me that she really meant it when she had earlier said that I was foolish for not bringing her flowers, and she'd therefore appear to be nuts, in front of her friends. If she was nice and polite to me, then it would show me that she knew she was the one acting the fool, earlier.

Without a word of greeting to her friends, she glanced me up and down and said to me, "You were supposed to be back here with flowers before they got here. Bring me flowers like I said, or never come back, asshole."

Her friends made a shocked noise or two. I gave a smirk, a curt nod, and went on my way, and out of her life, forever.

11 comments:

  1. If this is the way it went down... well played, OP.

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  2. Did you get her friends number? If not then you just wasted your time

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  3. I am not blaming the OP, she was a bitch, but that aside, I always brought flowers on the second or third date if we had a lot of chemistry and things went well... And Oh look, I am getting married on June 1.

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    Replies
    1. Good for you. I've never had flowers bought for me and yet, I've been with the same guy for 5 years. Flowers don't make or break a relationship with a decent person.

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  4. Marrying Natalie, are you?

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  5. Screw the flowers, bring me pizza. Om nom nom.

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  6. On my first date with Brilliant Girlfriend I took her a single rose. We had talked through e-mail for a bit, and I had a fairly good idea of what her personality was like, so I figured she would appreciate the gesture without making a big deal about it. Had to buy a dozen roses to get the one I wanted, but she loved it. Still together almost two and a half years later. But if she had told me she EXPECTED flowers before I even showed up I probably wouldn't have bothered. If you feel the need to try to shape me into the date you want me to be, then that probably means the guy I actually am won't work for you...and you definitely won't work for me.

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  7. Am I the only one reading this "ALL I HAD TO DO WAS HANG OUT FOR AN HOUR OUTSIDE HER FRONT DOOR TO BEARD PEOPLE I DIDN'T KNOW ON THEIR WAY INTO HER HOUSE" thing and facedesking?

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  8. "You could be bringing me flowers right now, instead of wasting time."

    "Or, you could fuck off and die, bitch-cow"!

    ReplyDelete

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