Story Sent in by Morrie:
This happened my freshman year of college. I was already seated at a table at a restaurant, waiting, when Veronica burst in, nearly collided with the host, and plopped down across from me at the table.
"Sorry I'm late," she said breathlessly. She truly appeared as if she had just run 10 miles. "You'll never believe what I saw on the way over here."
"A criminally obese naked guy? That would explain why you ran here."
She said, "Better. I saw a homeless guy shit right into a trash can!"
I replied, "And that's better... how?"
She tugged at my sleeve. "You want to take a look?"
I was incredulous. "At homeless-man shit?"
"Yeah! I mean, we wouldn't have to get too close—"
"Aside from sex with a criminally obese naked man, I can think of nothing I'd like less. Maybe at least we could have dinner, first."
She sat back in her seat and said, "Okay, Mr. No-Sense-Of-Adventure. Have it your way."
She was sullen and silent through the rest of dinner. Afterward, when we walked out of the eatery together, she suddenly took on a second wind. She said, "Okay, are you ready now?"
"For what? To go see that trash can? How about I take your word for it?"
"Ugh, fine," she said, then extended her hand. "Nice meeting you."
That was my first and last blind date.