5/05/2012

Shake it, Sugar

Story Sent in by Tony:

On my first date with Dana, she had the jitters and shakes like nothing I had ever seen before. We sat down and both of her arms and her legs quivered, while her face twitched.

My first thought was drugs, and I asked her, "What's wrong?"

She replied, "Sugar. I had a ton of sugar before I got here, and that's never a good thing for me."

"Why did you have so much?"

"Have you ever tasted it? It's great."

When the waitress came, Dana seemed to put forth a colossal effort to stopping her shaking. She ordered a Coke and a slice of pie.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I asked.

"You're not my father, okay? I can get what I want."

If her attitude was really the only thing left that could've kept me interested in her, she dropped the ball then and there. Our orders came, she wolfed down her Coke and pie, and she shook and blinked like she was in an earthquake.

"Seriously, you okay?" I asked.

"Yes!" she snapped, ending our conversation and any chance of a second date. Once dinner was over, she was barely able to stand on two legs, but held it together long enough to pay her share and make it back to her car. I watched her go, and as she took off, she backed into a dumpster! It was great.

5 comments:

  1. "it was great" that she backed her car into a dumpster.... yeah she brought it on herself but the op's comment has officially made him look like the douch.

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  2. I would have laughed at that too, she shouldn't be driving if she was under the influence.

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  3. Obligatory comment about how it was irresponsible to let her drive if she was that bad off, something about diabetic shock and impulse control disorders, and you're a jerk for laughing.

    And now my real opinion, which is that no one is obligated to take responsibility for a near-stranger and her choices are her own, and she deserved to be laughed at, because she;s clearly an irresponsible person and rather a jerk herself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. See, this is where you need to add Salt to the mix. Evens things out. OP just lost out on a good date because he didn't add salt.

    ReplyDelete
  5. That's the opposite of diabetic shock, but yeah, that probably wasn't a moment when she should've been driving.

    ReplyDelete

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