5/11/2012

The Naked Truth

Story Sent in by Winston:

Lisa wore a nice outfit on our date: her hair was down, she was in a pretty blouse and skirt, but her footwear stuck out. She wore a ratty old pair of leather-strap sandals.

It didn't bother me (indeed, I'm surprised I noticed them at all), but she caught me staring and she said, "Yeah, the sandal thing. You're probably wondering about it."

I said, "It's nothing. I wasn't going to say anything."

She replied, "A girl has to have her secrets," and she winked.

"You have a sandal secret?"

She winked again and changed the subject as we sat down to eat. I was curious, but didn't want to pry, so I left it at that.

After a couple of glasses of wine, she volunteered the information without any prompting from me. Well, sort of. She said, in a sing-songy way, "I'm wearing sandals, I'm wearing sandals, can't wait to go, can't wait to gooooo..."

I asked, "Go where?"

She replied, "After this is over, I'm going to the beach with some... friends."

So that's why, I assumed, she wore sandals. Apparently, she didn't want to be bothered with switching out footwear. I didn't see a need for secrecy about that, but she wasn't finished:

"We're all going to the beach... and some of us get a little naked..." she laughed at my expression, then went on, "We've done this for years. We're old friends, some since grade school, when penises were small... some really haven't grown since then..." she laughed again. So maybe she was into the kink scene or polyamory or whatever.

"So yeah... the beach... the beach... we all get a little drunk, a little toasted, and we just all have some fun."

I nodded. It's all good.

Then she asked, "Want to come?"

What an interesting proposition. "Okay," I said.

"Too bad," she said, "You can't. All our people are people everyone knows and have been tested and with the group for years. Sorry. I only just met you."

"Um... okay. You were the one who asked if I wanted to go."

She reached for her phone and picked it up. "Hello? Yes. Okay. I'll be there. Naked. Yes. Yes, I'll be naked. Okay. Ha, me too! I'll be naked, too. Yes. We'll both be... we'll both be naked. Okay. Yes. Naked together. Yep. Good. All of us, everyone naked. Good. Very good. Very naked. Bye!"

She hung up. "So I have to go now," she said, "Can I help with the check?"

She had hardly ordered anything. "I've got it," I said, "Will you be okay to drive—?"

She stood up and left. I hope that she had a good time, and I'm grateful that she was so upfront in telling me...

10 comments:

  1. That she was a swinger since elementary school.

    Great story totally made me laugh :)

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  2. Reminds me of Borat's sister, who used to taunt their intellectually-challenged brother, who was chained up in a cage in the living room: "You will never get this! You will never get this! na na nana na na!" (whilst gesturing to her vajayjay)

    Then, one day, he broke out of his cage, and he GOT that... and we all had a good laugh about it...

    Anyhoo, and least she offered to help with the check...

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  3. Is anyone else concerned this dude let her drive drunk?

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  4. Though I was wondering if the phone actually rang, or if she just picked it up and talked into it.

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  5. How I imagine the full conversation went:

    Lisa says, "Hello?"

    "Hi, Lisa. It's your mother. Are you coming home soon?"

    "Yes."

    "Could you pick up bread?"

    "Okay. I'll be there. Naked."

    "What? Did you just say you'd be naked?"

    "Yes. Yes, I'll be naked.

    "I don't think I understand, honey."

    "Okay. Ha, me too! I'll be naked, too."

    "What? Is this some sort of joke?"

    "Yes. We'll both be... we'll both be naked."

    "Sweetie, I don't think that's appropriate–"

    "Okay. Yes. Naked together. Yep. Good."

    "Honey, are you okay? Do you need me to pick you up?"

    "All of us, everyone naked. Good. Very good."

    "Never mind. I'll pick up the bread, myself."

    "Very naked. Bye!"

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  6. Did she mention what beach this was??

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  7. NAKED!!! (Just had to add one more. :))

    ReplyDelete

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